Jux's 50th Bleacher Report Article

•    43) You may already know that Lebron James is 6’9”.  But did you know he weighs 274 pounds?!  I’ve come to the conclusion that this dude is not a human being.  He is a perfectly programmed robot that can dunk from the free throw line. 

•    42) Will somebody please remind Cincinnati freshman Yancy Gates that he is a 6’9” 265-pound monster?  Gates is averaging less than two free throw attempts per game.  If that doesn’t spell “soft” then I don’t know what does.

•    41) We need to get a S.W.A.T. team together and order it to take out Stuart Scott, Vern Lundquist, Mike Patrick, George Grande, Chris Welsh, Ed Hightower, Mark May, Joe Buck, Tim McCarver, Chip Caray, and Jay Williams.  Tired-a them. 

•    40) Memo to National League pitchers: Don’t throw Reds 2B Brandon Phillips a fastball unless you want to snap your neck from turning around so quick to see the baseball leave the stadium on the rise.

•    39) Brandon Phillips trots around the bases like a motherf*****’ pimp with some gangsta lean to it when he goes yard. 

•    38) Freshman guard Dion Dixon has been a “Lil ass Gee” so far for the Bearcats.  On January 22, his exclamation-point right-handed leaner posterized a helpless St. John’s defender and caused me to lose my f*****’ mind!

•    37) How ‘bout the job Brian Kelly has been doing with UC Bearcats football?  He just pimped the entire Big East with his third-string quarterback and a white running back!

•    36) A guy I wish had more eligibility is Ohio State CB Malcolm Jenkins.  From the first game he stepped onto the field his freshman year until the heartbreak loss to Texas in this past Fiesta Bowl, Malcolm locked up receivers, pimpedly ran back interceptions for touchdowns, laid lumber, and talked major sh*t after tackles.  Gonna miss that knack.

•    35) The NCAA needs to pack up their antics and ship these antics out.  We don’t want to watch college basketball when the refs routinely call hand-check fouls, off-the-ball fouls, and illegal screens the entire game.  Rarely can we watch two straight possessions without a foul called.  Get the f*** outta here with this.

•    34) Everyone makes a big deal out of ESPN/ABC sideline reporter Erin Andrews.  But what about Holly Rowe?  I like what she brings to the table with all that extra thickness.  That’s my girl right there.

•    33) Dwight Howard continues to commit aggravated assault on rims and backboards. 

•    32) Most overrated player in America right now: Ty Lawson, UNC.  He’s not good.  At all.  I can think of a hundred point guards I’d rather have.  A thousand.  A million!

•    31) Anybody who spends more than one millisecond reading about, talking about, or thinking about the upcoming Bengals draft needs to be sent directly to an insane asylum and then punched in the face and skull 652 times in a row. 


Stay tuned for the conclusion of this article, Thoughts No. 30 down to No. 1.  Thanks for reading.

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