UFC: Top 5 Fighters You Want with You When Stranded on an Island
The UFC layoff is almost over, and The Ultimate Fighter has been a nice IV drip in the meantime. Now we're about to get back on the grind. Easter is over and now all of those who sacrificed through Lent are indulging themselves. Right before we get things started again, here’s a casual treat as a welcome back gift!
At some point in your life, you probably have played the game where you think of the one item you would bring with you if you were to going to be stranded on an island and had to survive. Since most of us are not Bear Grylls, we need a little help. What better than bringing some MMA fighters with you?
This is a quick list of five UFC fighters that would be helpful to have by your side when all else seems lost!
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Probably the first worry that will cross through your head when you realize you are stuck on an island with no contact to anyone, is that you will need to have food to survive. Luckily, that plane you were on had Demetrious Johnson on board as well. He and you have survived, and you are better off now with “Mighty Mouse” by your side.
It’s been an hour and you are already succumbing to your stomach and starting to look at DJ in a different light, but you know he has a great skill. Hunting. Given there are animals on this island, they will be your nourishment until someone can rescue you. But from the crash and the mental drain, you are in no shape to catch a delicious critter. This is where DJ shines. DJ is extremely fast and has great cardio. Like a cheetah on the hunt, DJ will be bringing home the bacon in no time.
photo from inflexwetrust.com
So maybe you were unfortunate enough to crash land on an island with no animal life. Looks like you will have to live like Jake Shields and try the vegetarian menu. An average human is somewhere around 5’5’’ to 5’9’’, and you won’t be grabbing any coconuts anytime soon without shimmying up a dangerous tree. This is why Jon Jones is there.
Jon Jones stands 6’4’’ tall and has the longest reach in the UFC. He is built to forage like a giraffe and safely bring food down to your height. As a side bonus, his reach in its wingspan form is a better way to flag down rescue personnel, than say if you had Sean Sherk with you.
photo from argueallday.com
Let’s assume that Diaz actually made his flight with you, and now accompanies you on the island. While not too worried about your well-being, you can still reap the benefits of his hard work to better serve himself.
First, Diaz will probably start working to build shelter. Diaz possesses incredible cardio and stamina, giving both of you better chances of survival. Diaz will continue to build, hunt and forage day in and day out.
Being a triathlon guy, and great at swimming, he is your best ticket of saving yourself if no one comes to rescue you. Chances are Cesar Gracie doesn’t know where Nick Diaz is anyway, and figures his absence is normal. Simply tie a makeshift rope to the waist of Nick Diaz and then let him tugboat you back to civilization.
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While some of you might think this is for cannibalistic reasons…apologies…it is not. It can get quite cold out there during the nights and you aren’t blessed with a Snuggie unfortunately. This is where “Big Country” comes in. He is hairy and insulated enough to help keep you warm when it gets dangerously cold.
While this writer wouldn’t recommend going the Star Wars route and using him like a Tauntaun carcass, desperate times might call for desperate measures. In this case, maybe your initial thoughts might be merited, but this writer does not support such tactics! (Apologies to DJ for the first slide)
Nelson is also a tough fighter and can endure hardships, giving you both better chances. When you both crashed on the island, he was a heavyweight, but when rescued he will go back to the UFC and walk straight into a title shot…against Dominick Cruz.
photo from cagepotato.com
Let’s face it, being stranded on an island is not only going to do numbers on your physical state, but also your mental health as well. Given time, you’d be forming a relationship with a sporting good. Nothing like having debates over TRT-use with your friend Tapout during those boring nights.
Who better to bring along to keep you entertained than Chael Sonnen? Sonnen is revered as one of the most witty and hilarious personas in MMA, and what better way to not contemplate drowning yourself than to have Uncle Chael put a smile on your face?
Sonnen would be a great guy to learn how to be funny from, and if your plane happened to go down off the east coast of Florida, you can always rag on Sonnen for getting caught in another Triangle.
Thanks for reading!