I'm not sure there's anything the media and the public at large love more than cheerleaders. There is a national obsession with them and it seems that everyone has a strong opinion about them.
Maybe you straight up love cheerleaders and have dedicated your life to tricking one into sleeping with you. Or maybe you totally hate them for being wicked evil to you in high school.
Whatever your personal reasons are, you either love 'em or hate 'em—and that's what sells!
If people were indifferent about the perky pompom shakers, it wouldn't be national news every time one of them had lesbian sex in a Banana Joe's bathroom. Or whatever.
One thing I know for sure is that cheerleaders + fail videos = amazing.
Two separate magical items coming together to make something substantially more magical—like PB&J, Oreos and milk or Coco Krispies and Special K (which combine to form Coco K).
Mmm, Coco K.
So lets get this show on the road, shall we?
You won't learn anything about impressive cheerleadering from the star of this video, but you will learn an important lesson about picking yourself up and dusting yourself off after falling (literally) flat on your face.
Brava little one. Brava!
Leave it to the ridiculously hot Miami Dolphins cheerleaders to make falling on your ass look good. Is there anything hot cheerleaders can't do?
Perhaps we should send an envoy to the Middle East to normalize relations and negotiate a forever peace treaty between Iran and Israel.
At one point or another, we've all done something humiliating in front of a crowd of people and then stupidly tried to pretend like the crowd of people didn't notice.
Deep down this girl realizes that hundreds of people just witnessed her untimely spill, but self-delusion is a tool everyone needs to get through the tough times in life.
This group of girls doesn't really look the slightest bit athletic, so the fact that its cheer "stunt" failed was pretty much the least surprising—but most welcomed—thing ever.
However, the comment from the poster on YouTube that the girls "almost peed in [their] pants" was probably something I could have done without.
I'm not a prude or anything; I just thought that was really icky for some reason.
Oh right, now I know what we were forgetting!
We totally forgot to choreograph and learn more than 25 seconds worth of cheermoves (What? That's a word?) so we don't have to stand around for awkward spans of cheer dead air.
You know what, I could deal with the awkward standing around in between chunks of choreography if the choreography they performed was a bit more impressive.
Well, it was the best homecoming ever for all the kids in the bleachers whose only wish was for the cheerleaders to make asses of themselves at the stupid homecoming pep rally.
Which was probably pretty much all of them. Huzzah!
At the 2012 State Cheerleading Championships in Wisconsin, one clumsy cheerleader demonstrated exactly how not to start off a routine at the state championships.
I realize the poor girl is a little larger than the others, but she should still be able to transport herself to the mat on foot without falling on her face.
Is that really too much to ask?
Honestly this isn't so much a "cheerleading fail" as it is a failure on behalf of Cowboys tight end Jason Witten to avoid using an unsuspecting cheerleader as his own personal tackling dummy.
Obviously nothing was intentional, but it was still quite a spectacle and, therefore, an epic fail.
This video is probably a magnet for every questionable creeper trolling YouTube for cheap thrills.
If this statement describes you in any way, shape or form—for shaaaaaaaaaame. Seriously dude, why you so nasty?
If you're a normal person whose mind isn't permanently laid to rest in the gutter, then you'll appreciate this video for exactly what it is—a stupid, overly enthusiastic Twilight fan embarrassing herself in front of her friends.
Whenever this incident actually occurred, this ass-busting tween cheerleader was probably devastated for "ruining" the routine that she and her cheerpals had worked so hard to learn.
And I completely understand that—nobody wants to be a ruiner and be subjected to the ire of a rabid pack of teenage girls.
But if she were reading this right now, I would tell her that the routine they were performing was terrible—like really atrociously boring and bad—and that her humiliating tumble was the only redeemable moment in an otherwise dreadfully mediocre seven seconds.
I think that would make her feel a lot better, don't you?
I've always had a theory that school mascots and cheerleaders secretly despise each other.
They both have desperate, attention-seeking personalities that literally (okay, not literally) cease to exist when nobody is looking.
They are natural enemies—like lions and hyenas (obviously cheerleaders are the hyenas).
Which is probably why the Notre Dame Leprechaun saw an opening to bash one in the head with a flag pole and had no choice but to seize the opportunity.
Well played sir.
If I was conducting an open-casting call for new NHL ice girls for a particular team, I'm honestly not sure what qualifications I would list in the ad.
I mean, the job doesn't seem too difficult.
If there's a gun to my head though, and I have to pick just one qualification required of all applicants, I'd probably have to go with the ability to freaking ice skate.
Looks like Islanders are running a pretty tight ship up in Long Island.
The good news here is that these "cheerleaders" don't look very official.
Some are rocking sweatsuits, others are donning denim and I'm pretty sure one of those broads is wearing Timberlands.
The bad news here is that this is one of the most horrifyingly inept attempts at a kickline in the entire history of the world.
I mean seriously girls, crows can remember human faces for years and fashion elaborate tools to extract food from tiny spaces, and you can't kick your leg up at the same time as the girl next to you without falling on your asses.
In this video the Knicks dancers get off to a very promising start before one of them falls on her ass—and then the whole operation falls apart.
Well, the whole operation doesn't actually fall apart but doesn't the above description sound awfully familiar?
This poor, poor girl didn't deserve this.
She probably spent countless hours slaving away over this stupid sign and the only thanks she got was being trampled by the entire football team, not to mention the opportunity to relive her pain and humiliation when it was featured on the local news.
Nice, real nice.
Although, she did get a web redemption on Tosh.0 and got to spend an entire day hanging with one of the most hilarious people ever.
I suppose it all evened out.
I'm actually very tolerant and openminded, but when I see this Butler cheerleader going ballistic on national television, I can't help but think that no father wants his son to grow up to be a male collegiate cheerleader.
Or any kind of cheerleader for that matter.
Not being able to master a kickline as a rag-tag bunch of maybe cheerleaders is one thing, but not being able to successfully pull off the wave as a legit, officially school-sanctioned cheerleader troupe is something entirely different.
Are you kidding me with this ridiculous performance?
Emotionally unstable and violently drunk Jets fans can usually pull off a couple of waves before someone gets in a fight—but this is the best you can do?
Actually I'm not sure if recently retired (and patently useless) running back Marion Barber has had the opportunity to trademark his signature "backflip fail" celebration yet, but it's only a matter of time.
Her backflip fail happened not long after Barber's, so she's probably safe with regards to a lawsuit.
But it probably wouldn't hurt to lawyer up, just in case.
You know how when you were in college, every time you got wasted, there were always a few guys (or girls, apparently) who insisted on proving that they weren't drunk by performing stupid stunts?
You know, their own variation of a field sobriety test that usually included repetition of the phrase, "Dude, I couldn't even do this if I were sober!"
Even though you knew full well that they definitely could do it if they were sober.
Well, apparently cheerleaders did that too—only it was substantially dumber.
Like substantially, substantially dumber.
I'm not sure whose idea it was to have the cheerleaders perform on a slick looking surface that was placed perilously close to a swimming pool—but my sincerest thanks to the maniacal jag in charge.
Obviously it was kind of a bad idea to begin with, but that being said, wouldn't you think the cheerleaders would be hyper aware of their surroundings for fear of falling in the pool and suffering life-long humiliation via viral video?
Apparently not. Yay for us!
Imagine how excited one of those nutcases up in Boston would be if the Red Sox won the World Series, the Patriots won the Super Bowl, the Celtics won the NBA championship and the Bruins won the Stanley Cup.
Now (suspend reality) imagine how those same Beantown nutacses would react if all four of those things happened on the exact same day, at the exact same time. You're picturing one helluva insane scene, aren't you?
Well their reaction would still be less ridiculous than these Memphis cheerleaders reacting to winning some kind of cheerleading competition.
Switching it up with an epic win!
I don't want to end on a negative note, so I've thrown in a couple of surprises for you.
And what is more of a welcome surprise than a deranged cheerleader running out onto the field and beating the crap out of a football player for seemingly no reason at all.
Sometimes life is just that good.
Let me be quite clear here: I am not posting this video because this cheerleader is a bit more on the rotund side than the rest of her cheerpeers.
I'm posting this video because she has got to be the single-worst excuse for a cheerleader I've ever seen.
I could get over the fact that uniform isn't ideal for her figure if she was showing me something else in terms of performance or general enthusiasm.
But she's not. She's hardly moving, she's out of sync and then—to top it all off—she totally drops one of the other girls.
I have absolutely no problem with a fat cheerleader, as long as she (or he) knows how to work it. Which brings me to…
This guy isn't just the greatest fat cheerleader of all time.
And he's not just the greatest male cheerleader of all time.
He is just, quite simply, the greatest cheerleader of all time.