Yann M'Vila loves Arsenal (maybe), Gareth Bale loves Spain (possibly) and Mario Balotelli is crazy (definitely).
Monday's gossip roundup is full of intrigue, from the usual transfer gossip to dressing-room bust-ups on both sides of the Atlantic. And then there's the case of team mutiny in the English lower leagues.
Oh, and don't forget Andy Carroll's profanity-laced tirade. That's definitely not to be missed.
Ready? Let's get this week off to a good start.