Al Davis—you have your chance now! Go get your prodigal sons back!
They will steer your misguide ship back home. Your chance to plunder the AFC is in your grasp.
Jon Gruden and Bruce Allen are only a phone call away. Bring them on board! They will cost less then Javon Walker’s champagne and in return, they will give you the gold you so desperately want!
Some Raiders fanatics are griping about the possibilities of “Chucky the Pirate” returning to the Bay. Instead, they are willing to roam lost under the command of Super Mario Cable!
With Cable here, fans can only expect another year of mutiny—a new coach, and a losing season. Davis does not need a “yes man” Tomas Cable Hernando de Soto. Fans are growing tired of a captain aimlessly wandering around looking for fool’s gold since Davis parted ways with his most fearsome pirate.
It is time to bring back the golden boys; the fearsome duo. Allen will slash your cap with his mighty sword and bring in gladiators willing to plunder the NFL. The Raiders have fine shipmates on board but need Captain Gruden’s guidance to knock the opposing forces senseless.
Cannon Russell will fire the guns, Nnamdi Asomugha will intercept the enemy’s fire, and McFadden the warhorse will drive the stake down the throats of opponents. What more could Commander Davis and his beloved followers want? I say bring Chucky and Guru Allen on board! There is nothing like the sound of winning in November from the family in the Black Hole!
Geeeeerrrrrrrrrrr, Al Davis, ye wanting to fill that stadium with loot, go get ye a pirate that knows yer ways! Get Captain Chucky to steer ye ship back to excellence! Fire on the right deck—the Chiefs, Chargers, and the Broncos are in me sights!
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