Shane Battier hosted a charity event entitled the South Beach Battioke, and all hell broke loose.
The man that epitomizes intangibles held his semi-annual event that raises money for The Battier Take Charge Foundation, which funds college scholarships.
Battioke was born out of a need to have a charitable event that wasn't the same old golf tournament, and that is where we get Battioke, via Palm Beach Post.
We are always looking for creative ways to have fundraisers. Everyone does a golf tournament. Everyone does a dinner. My wife and I do enjoy karaoke. We’re not very good. It’s a chance for guys to let their hair down.
Letting one's hair down is old-people speak for pounding brews and making a fool of yourself, and we have the videos to prove it.
Yes, it's time to break down some karaoke videos.
We have Pat Riley and LeBron James in an epic battle to decide which man will turn me off of music forever.
Let's dive right in.
Old guy that has never once changed his hair style in nearly seven decades. Trade-marked term three-peat, yet to use it.
If you are having a sports event of any kind, and it is held in a conference room, Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2" will be played.
You can almost count it as a given that this song will bring up players and introduce legends like they are about to play in the Eastern Conference Finals, and it makes me sad.
We have also learned one important tenet of karaoke. It's more about performance than singing, and Riley pretty much fails at both, but damn it we respect him for his attempt.
Score Pulled From My Booty: 7 out of 10
I gave a great deal of brownie points for Riley stepping up and giving a heartfelt rendition of "My Girl," pretty much killing any chance that I will ever enjoy that classic again.
He is like some Bizarro Justin Timberlake that can neither sing nor dance, but he will keep you on the edge of your seat in anticipation of which note is about to be butchered. Hooray for musical massacres.
Likes to "Decide" things on ESPN. Also enjoys passing on final shot. Hair style resembles George Costanza.
LeBron James gets a lot of heat (don't pardon that) for being a superstar who wants to play with his BFF's and passes the ball in the clutch, but he really is a great guy.
He also knows how to bring the house down when it comes to karaoke. Of course, bringing the house down at karaoke is kind of like getting an A when you are in third grade.
Sure, you will get some applause and possibly a hug, but were you really going to fail? Sorry, Pat Riley.
Who you got?
James is singing "Super Freak" by Rick James, one of the easiest songs to take on in the realm of public performance. I am sure this is pertinent to James as a person, but I will let you decide.
Score Pulled From My Booty: 9 out of 10
I knocked off five points for James' lazy choice of song, and took an additional four points off for the use of a hackneyed wig in the video.
However, I gave him nine points for not being Pat Riley.
And with that, LeBron James wins.
This is the point where I say that this is all great fun because it was done with a great cause in mind. However, that is sappy, so I shall refrain.
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