Throughout the course of history we've seen a number of prominent historical figures make their mark in politics, culture, and warfare, among other fields. Generally speaking, these great figures never truly came face-to-face with their adversary.
This is the case in the worlds of politics and culture especially, where a game of shadows plays out with both sides never engaging one another directly.
According to my testosterone-fueled method of thinking, this begs the question: "Who would win in a fight?"
Luckily for you history buffs out there we at B/R have decided to put together a list of prominent historical figures and place them inside a cage (or a ring if that's your thing) and fantasize how a potential MMA bout would result.
In the words of Shang Tsung, It has begun!
Hannibal Barca and Scipio Africanus met during the Second Punic War at the Battle of Zama. Hannibal Barca had long been a thorn in the side of Rome, having defeated Roman armies on numerous accounts including the Battle of Cannae.
Both men are considered great military minds but when the two clashed at Zama, there was not a level playing field. The men Barca had under his command were not the battle-hardened soldiers he enjoyed in his Italian campaign and Africanus of course had the might of the Roman legions at his disposal.
Africanus had studied Barca's tactics and found a counter to the Carthaginians moves. Could he do the same if it was a fight between the two of them? A famous quote from one of Barca's generals could give valuable insight into how a potential fight could play out.
His general Maharbal is famously quoted as telling Barca "you know how to win a victory but not what to do with it."
Would he be able to capitalize on the minuscule openings in a MMA fight?
Philip IV of France was deeply in debt when he made the move to disband the Knights Templar. As with all moves meditated by greed, it was not as successful as he planned. Many of the Templar Knights that were captured gave false confessions and the king's men found virtually nothing when they ransacked Templar buildings.
Jacques de Molay was the last Grand Master of the Templars and was burned alive by Philip. His part in the arrests of numerous Templar Knights and members have made de Molay a legendary figure in the Templar order.
Instead of Philip going behind everyone's back and needing to get the Pope involved, why not do what every aging MMA fighter who needs money does? Fight for whoever pays the most!
Philip could've solved a lot of his money issues by taking on de Molay in a MMA match. At the time of his death de Molay was over 50 years old while Philip was the much younger man. We've seen guys like Randy Couture and Dan Henderson overcome aging but de Molay is no Couture.
A famed conquering hero, Julius Caesar was a god among men during his day. His numerous successful military campaigns made him popular among the people but made the Senate very suspicious of his actions.
The tension between Caesar and the Senate came to a head with the infamous "Ides of March" assassination in which Caesar was stabbed to death by members of the Senate. Among the conspirators was Marcus Brutus, a former ally of Caesar.
Instead of all this secrecy and a violent assassination that ultimately failed to accomplish what the Senators had hoped for, why not pit the two men in a MMA match?
They could fight to decide who would control the Roman empire, Caesar or the Senate.
Caesar may have had a storied military career but was much more of a strategist than someone who would lead from the front. Brutus however, was a life-long senator who had seen very little of war.
Regardless of his military style, one would have to believe Caesar's military background would give him the edge here.
Why go through all those long, bloody years of the United States Civil War when we can settle this with 15-25 minutes of a MMA bout?
Abraham Lincoln served as a militia man during the Black Hawk War and was quite the imposing figure at 6-foot 4-inches tall. Jefferson Davis meanwhile attended West Point and was a Lieutenant in the United States Army.
Lincoln would have to use his height to keep Davis at bay while Davis would look to push Lincoln against the cage and work in the clinch.
Davis was not the leader that Lincoln was and in the game of mental toughness that is MMA, Lincoln would likely emerge victorious.
The period following Alexander's death, known as the Wars of the Diadochi, was a series of conflicts over who would take control of the former king's empire. When Alexander laid on his death bed, his generals asked him to whom he would leave his empire to. He replied, "to the strongest."
Sounds like we have the perfect ingredients for a Pride style Grand Prix!
Each of the generals had their own claims as to why they should lead but none were strong enough to take control. Even Alexander's son, Alexander IV, was unable to realize his destiny as he was murdered during the wars between Alexander's generals.
Who wants a silly trophy and confetti when you can have the greatest empire of the ancient world?