Ahh, Steve Spurrier. Officially, I would like to thank him for...well...an article, and I would like to explain to him that there are some things you just don't do past a certain age (or past a certain BMI):
1) Enter tequila shooting contests.
2) Date 18-year-olds or utter the phrase: "How YOU doin'?"
3) Take off your shirt. (via deadspin.com)
4) Dance in public...with the exception of ballroom dancing, as that is a timeless art.
Things change in society over the years, and you lose touch with what's hip. (For instance, the word "hip" is no longer hip.)
Things also change in your body over the years (decades), and, quite frankly, we don't want to see all that.
Presented in alphabetical order, the following 19 coaches are receiving their warnings now. A warning that Spurrier, sadly, did not receive.