WWE: 4 Opponents Arn Anderson Might Have Wrestled If Only
In less than one week, Arn Anderson will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.
Aside from being one of the best in-ring performers of his time, Arn Anderson could cut a promo that would leave you staring at the screen long after he was gone. To this day, I can remember part of an Arn Anderson promo cut against the nWo. It happened over 15 years ago, but I can still quote it without looking it up.
Arn Anderson said, “You tried to put my eyes out with paint. You should have used battery acid! That’s what I would have done. You lit this fire; now it’s gonna burn you all to the ground!”
That is Arn Anderson.
That kind of intensity is unmatched to this day.
Recently Arn Anderson did an interview where he speculated what it would be like if he were an active competitor in the WWE right now. With that in mind, I wanted to highlight four guys Arn Anderson should have wrestled in the last decade or so.
There are many more.
Check out these scenarios, and let me know who you think would be a perfect opponent for Arn Anderson today.
Attitude Era Arn
Hard to believe but Arn Anderson and Steve Austin were WCW TV champions in the same year. Only Beautiful Bobby Eaton was between them. They went on to serve together in the Dangerous Alliance. One thing these men had in common is they made any championship they contended for better. Whether it was the TV title, the U.S. or the tag team. Another thing they had in common: WCW never saw either man as a world champion.
But look what Steve Austin did when he went to WWE at the right time.
Can you imagine an Arn Anderson of the Attitude Era? It even sounds right. That man would have cut promos that had you going to church to confess your sins.
What an amazing opponent he would have made for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Both were brawlers and could be technicians, too. Both were rugged and didn’t really give a damn. Both could cut a promo that would live forever.
In the Attitude Era, anything could happen.
It may have been the one place that Arn Anderson would have been bolstered to a heavyweight title. He would have mixed well with the Rock and Mick Foley as well. And, really, imagine the promos with Mr. McMahon.
It is a shame for the WWE, Arn Anderson and wrestling fans that the Enforcer never worked the Attitude Era.
A Punching Bag for Punk
Arn Anderson is, of all things, a traditionalist.
It pains the man to try to discuss the ‘secrets’ of professional wrestling by the light of a rolling camera. His conservative mannerisms ran into trouble, at least once, when his retirement speech was mocked by the nWo.
Can you imagine if he faced CM Punk?
Punk’s anti-hero, devil-may-care attitude would have needled Arn Anderson to no end. Punk could mock the 4 Horsemen Era as well. He could mock their lifestyle, their drinking and partying, their excess. A veteran Arn Anderson would play the role of the disrespected, and the more he demonstrated disrespect, the more Punk would disrespect him.
Arn Anderson would no doubt try to break him—literally—his arm or his leg.
Arn Anderson’s style would ground CM Punk, and I doubt Punk would finish him with a submission. I do believe Arn Anderson would be booked to put CM Punk over. Punk would rally and survive, and finish with a Bret Hart-style roll up.
After all, one thing Arn Anderson doesn’t have to be taught is how to put a man over.
A Chant Arn Anderson Never Heard
I would put Arn Anderson against John Cena around the time John Cena wrestled Triple H at WrestleMania.
It was a high time for the you can’t wrestle vibe.
Arn Anderson wouldn’t have said the words. He doesn’t have to be that obvious.
Just his presence and the comparison would have given John Cena haters what they wanted. Arn Anderson would have broke John Cena down and fans would have rejoiced to see John Cena disrespected by a legend.
In the end, John Cena would prevail (of course).
Truth is he’d have an excellent match with Arn Anderson, but his haters would say that demonstrates only how great Arn Anderson is.
Still, Arn Anderson, a man of truth, would later talk about the respect he has for John Cena.
Arn Anderson, Teddy Bear
AJ Lee loves Daniel Bryan, right? At least, that is how the story goes.
Though the Horsemen were known to be vile in their pursuits of women, wrestlers are often typecast by their look.
What if someone showed AJ Lee the love she shows Daniel Bryan? What if she received flowers and cards and was seen in the back being sweet talked by a teddy-bear-version of Arn Anderson?
I’m not sure there could be a better match or program or series than Arn Anderson versus Daniel Bryan.
They could trade moves and submissions, while AJ’s affection is on the line. They could trade verbal jabs as well.
Arn Anderson would no doubt suffer for his love, taking beatings that endeared him to the crowd and made AJ’s choice more conflicted.
Yet, when the final match comes, Arn Anderson would learn what those of us of some age have already learned. In the end it’s not about who loves you. It’s about who you love.
Right as Arn ascends, as he catches a DDT, or spinebuster, and puts his thumb to his throat to signify the end (while making eye contact with AJ Lee, I’m sure), that’s when she would make the move for Daniel Bryan. She wouldn’t be vulgar or violent, but she’d at least get on the apron and stop the count. She might plead with Arn or distract him. She’d say she’s sorry, and she’d mean it.
But Daniel Bryan would capitalize and get the win.
And he’d leave with AJ Lee still by his side.
The List Goes On...
You may have noticed I pitted Arn Anderson against many main eventers. Throughout his career, Arn Anderson was one of the best to rarely main event. That is a shame.
There are other matches, too.
Arn Anderson versus the Undertaker (remember the WrestleMania spinebuster?). Or how about a match between the former enforcers Double A and Triple H? And can you imagine Arn Anderson versus Mr. WrestleMania, Shawn Michaels?
It is regrettable that Arn Anderson can’t start anew with each wrestling generation. If wrestling could benefit from anything, it’d be that.
Arn Anderson will soon be honored for all he brought to the wrestling world.
That night will come and go, but we could speculate on his career far longer than one night.