WrestleMania 28 Predictions: Previewing WWE's Biggest Event of 2012

Kevin GermanyAnalyst IIIMarch 29, 2017

WrestleMania 28 Predictions: Previewing WWE's Biggest Event of 2012

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    Countless articles have been written about the top three matches at WrestleMania 28. Of course those three matches are Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle in an iron man match, Trent Barretta vs. JTG in a "contract on a pole" match, and Mason Ryan vs. Ezekiel Jackson in a "last man standing" match.

    WrestleMania 28 might be the greatest WWE pay-per-view ever if the main event matches live up to their lofty expectations. I mean the divas tag match has the potential to be the greatest divas match ever.

    With all joking aside, this will be a fantastic show. There are three legitimate main events this year compared to one (Triple H vs. Undertaker) last year.

    Enjoy the theme song as you read through my predictions!

Daniel Bryan (C) vs. Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship

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    I have a feeling this match will open WrestleMania 28. It makes sense as this match just hasn't had the proper build a world title match should have.

    Who would have thought these two men are getting a reprieve from the horrific injustice of getting bumped off the card last WrestleMania? Now is the time for these two men to put on a stellar opening match.

    Bryan Danielson and Stephen Farrelly (Sheamus) have taken two distinct paths to the top of World Wrestling Entertainment.

    Danielson earned his often-proclaimed "Best in the World" moniker by toiling through Ring of Honor and the vast WWE mid-card. The roof blew off when Daniel Bryan achieved his lifelong dream by defeating a wounded Big Show at TLC.

    Sheamus is the archetypal WWE superstar envisioned by Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Sheamus has a unique look, sufficient size, an ability to tell a story in the ring, and most of all terrific mic skills augmented by his Irish accent.

    Just think of all these contradictions when they steal the show in Miami, the same show they should have stolen in Atlanta last year.

    Sheamus is the obvious favorite in this match. There has not been a Royal Rumble winner who won at WrestleMania since Undertaker in 2007. Daniel Bryan has had the belt for long enough.

    It's time for Sheamus to shine!

    Winner (and new champion): Sheamus

    Estimated Match Time: 15 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 9.25/10

    Estimated Fans Blinded by Sheamus: 3,456

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres

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    NOTE: Maria Menounos has sustained a broken rib. There is no word on whether this injury will leave her out of action.

    This is certainly the annual WrestleMania celebrity match that causes some fans to groan in agony. But most fans must be thinking, "when exactly did Maria Menounos become a celebrity?"

    With that aside, there is some bad blood contrary to popular belief. Kelly Kelly and Eve were former BFFs who are now feuding. A teenage girl can finish this analysis a lot better than I can.

    Rumor has it Eve became a Hoeski in the video shown. Eve is the most hated diva because of this video. The world may never find out how Beth and Eve became allies after months of feuding.

    Menounos and Phoenix have feuded on and off since October 2009. Menounos pinned Phoenix in a Tribute to the Troops match back in December 2011.

    Personally, I would have preferred a Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma match. But I am looking forward to when fans chant "Hoeski" to Eve AND Kelly Kelly.

    Fans seeking eye candy will be pleased. Fans seeking an actual wrestling match should take a nap.

    Winner: Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly

    Estimated Match Time: 1 minute

    Estimated Match Rating: -1.5/10

    Estimated Single Male Fans Taking a Bathroom Break During This Match: 0 (for obvious reasons)

Randy Orton vs. Kane

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    Expect the Miami audience hardened by high crime rates to enjoy this match. Orton and Kane both have psychotic gimmicks willing to go as far as necessary to win.

    They had a great street fight last summer. I am surprised this match doesn't have a hardcore stipulation. I would have loved to have seen a Falls Count Anywhere match between the two.

    Nevertheless, Randy Orton and Kane do the honors of batting third in Miami. I have full confidence neither man will disappoint in their quest to assuage the collective fears of fans that the under card is mediocre.

    As much as I want Kane to win, Randy Orton will win via an RKO off a choke slam.

    Winner: Randy Orton

    Estimated Match Time: 15 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 8/10

    Estimated Percentage this feud ends at Extreme Rules in some type of hardcore match: 95%

Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes (C) for the Intercontinental Championship

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    This marks the first time the Intercontinental Championship has been defended at WrestleMania since 2009. This match should have a very difficult time surpassing the 2009 match.

    I like how Cody Rhodes has made this boring feud seem interesting. Rhodes is very creative in trying to build up feuds. His constant mention of Big Show's failures at WrestleMania have enlightened fans about the World's Largest Athlete's struggles at the Super Bowl of Wrestling.

    Believe it or not, Big Show was the youngest WCW World Heavyweight Champion at age 23. I would also like to mention Dusty Rhodes and Big Show (known as the Giant in WCW) were both a part of the New World Order.

    Yes. Big Show is old.

    Big Show will receive one last accolade before he calls it quits. In other words, Big Show is your new Intercontinental Champion!

    Winner (and new champion): Big Show

    Estimated Match Time: 8 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 7/10

    Estimated number of fans who wonder why I posted that Rock video: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY FANS WONDER WHY I POSTED THAT VIDEO!!!

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

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    Team Johnny: David Otunga (C), Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Miz, Drew McIntyre, and Mark Henry. 

    Team Teddy: Santino (C), Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, Great Khali, Booker T, and R-Truth.

    Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy has huge long-term implications for the WWE. Regardless of who wins, it is a formal end to the brand extension.

    There have been separate Raw and SmackDown general managers since the brand extension in 2002. April 1, 2012 will mark the official end of the brand extension.

    The team composition shows the clear advantage Team Johnny has over his counterpart. Teddy Long's recruiting skills are about as bad as Johnny Ace's mic skills.

    I see this match being similarly structured to a 12-man tag match back on Raw a while back. That was a quality match with plenty of intense back-and-forth action.

    To improve the quality of this match, strong in-ring workers such as Dolph Ziggler, Christian, and Kofi Kingston must be in the ring the vast majority of the time. Great Khali should probably be ambushed before the match to prevent any disastrous wrestling.

    If I had to guess a winner, I'd go with Team Johnny. They have a better team plus Christian gets one more match for the World Heavyweight Championship if they win.

    Winner: Team Johnny

    Estimated Match Time: 15 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 8/10

    Estimated fans calling for the Nation of Domination to reform: 34

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho for the WWE Championship

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    The battle to determine who is the best in the world has taken a much-needed swerve. It has gotten personal.

    Chris Jericho has relentlessly attacked CM Punk's family for their drug and alcohol use. CM Punk should mention Jericho's family.

    I expect a sleep-deprived Chris Jericho to finally go to sleep in Miami. The Miami crowd will greatly appreciate CM Punk remaining awake to achieve his WrestleMania moment!

    Winner (and still champion): CM Punk

    Estimated Match Time: 30 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 10.5/10

    Estimated percentage of fans who think CM Punk will win: 92.4%

Triple H vs. Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell Match with HBK as Guest Referee

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    20-0 has never felt so uncertain. Undertaker could retire after this year's event. Wrestlers usually lose their retirement matches.

    Call me crazy, but I can see Triple H playing the role of Shawn Michaels while Undertaker plays the role of Ric Flair.

    I just received some breaking news. TNA's Bound for Glory main event in 2012 has been announced: Sting vs. Undertaker in a AARP membership on a pole match.

    Never mind. Undertaker will win thanks to Shawn Michaels costing Triple H the match because HBK wants to prove he is better than his friend.

    Winner (and still undefeated at WrestleMania): Undertaker

    Estimated Match Time: 30 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 10/10

    Estimated number of fans at WrestleMania VII who thought Undertaker would be 20-0 at WrestleMania: 0

Rock vs. John Cena

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    Play this song.

    I have already explained why John Cena should not win. Rock does not need the win either. Neither man will hurt from a loss.

    So if you are neutral in this feud, just enjoy this match.

    I really hope there is no interference or a stupid ending. I want this match to remain pure. The only exception is if John Cena turns heel.

    Otherwise, a Rock victory over John Cena is in order in Miami. Remember, celebrities rarely (if ever) lose at WrestleMania. Dwayne Johnson is a celebrity.

    Suck it Cenation members!

    Winner: The Rock

    Estimated Match Time: 30 minutes

    Estimated Match Rating: 10/10

    Estimated number of fans who disagree with me: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO DISAGREES WITH ME!!!

Conclusion

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    Raw

    John Cena will recover from his loss. Perhaps Rock will give him some respect by giving him a discounted rate at the SmackDown hotel.

    A Rock vs. John Cena rematch at SummerSlam makes a lot of sense.

    I will predict Chris Jericho will demand a rematch at Extreme Rules. CM Punk will grant it to him. Otherwise I envision a major post-WrestleMania letdown.

    SmackDown

    I expect Daniel Bryan to demand a rematch at Extreme Rules. Sheamus will grant it to him. Randy Orton and Kane should end their feud in a hardcore match at Extreme Rules.

    Remember Orton is slated to take some time off to film The Marine 3.

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    Thanks for reading!