Oh, L.A. Dodgers, how do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways…
As if Giants fans needed any more reasons to loathe the team in blue caps from the city of brown skies, a report from FOX Sports Arizona this past weekend suggests a potential buyer of the discombobulated franchise may have his eager, evil eyes focused on none other than former St. Louis Cardinals skipper Tony La Russa.
Steve Cohen—the hedge-fund billionaire and front-runner to purchase the Doyers—supposedly wants La Russa on his executive team should he become the heir to Frank McCourt’s porcelain throne.
Go ahead and puke now, Giants fans.
Those of you who have followed me for a while know how much I despise La Russa.
It all started back in ’89. An untimely earthquake. A certain four-time 20-game winner being used in Games 1 and 3 of the World Series. And a four-game, momentum-built sweep by the other Bay Area baseball team.
Yes, I’m still bitter. Even though the Giants finally brought home the hardware themselves, in 2010.
As for the Dave Stewart thing, I realize La Russa did what any manager would have done in his situation. But that doesn't mean I have to like him for it.
On the contrary, I've never liked La Russa. Not when he was leading the A’s to five straight winning seasons (which included three playoff berths and the aforementioned World Series beat-down of my Giants).
Not when he got drunk and fell asleep at the wheel of his car and picked up a DUI. Or the gazillion times he’s complained about other teams stealing his signs. Or the umpteen pitching changes he likes to make in an inning.
Remember the malfunctioning bullpen phone in Game 5 of last year’s Fall Classic? That was me you heard laughing in the apartment upstairs.
Batting the pitcher eighth? Who do you think you are, Tony? Albert Einstein or something? (Why, yes. Yes, he does think he’s Einstein.)
Now comes word the man who sued Twitter because someone created a Tony La Russa parody account could soon be coming to L.A.
I can see it now. Tony and Tommy. Tommy and Tony. Chumming it up over a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. Only, Tony’s sauce will be meatless, of course.