This was IMPACT Wrestling’s final stop before Victory Road.
For old time's sake, I got me some Arizona Iced Tea and Cheez-It crackers. Anyone who read my full IMPACT reviews back in the day are breaking into tears of joy.
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What a fun episode of IMPACT it was, right?
- James Storm wants Bobby Roode at Lockdown. Bully Ray says he already kicked Storm’s ass, so…he should be No. 1 contender! Booking a match between Storm and Bully is only necessary for Victory Road.
- If James Storm were to ever wear an all-white robe and sandals, how much would he look like Jesus? Better question; if Jesus was rockin’ some aviators, how much would he look like James Storm? Hmm…
- Bully Ray will be the main reason the word “calves” gets censored from SPIKE TV one day.
- Bully Ray’s new tag team partners are his calves.
- Each match of Bully's is considered a handicap match. His calves count as a whole person.
- Bully Ray’s calves are bigger than Hornswoggle.
- I’m not sure if the proper term is “calves” or “calfs.”
- This week gave Gunner his first credible opponent since...the Bound For Glory Series. I hate you, Garett. We all do.
- How come the road agents like Al Snow and D’Lo Brown always break up fights? Where are the security guards? #WeWantMurphy
- #Meh…Murphy would’ve been biased, anyway. His friend Gunner was out there.
- Joseph Parks should search for Murphy instead of Abyss. The TNA security squad needs a boost.
- Shouldn’t Gail and Madison be mad at Sting for booking a man in a Knockouts match? Instead they’re mad at each other…
- How come Sarita wasn’t booked in a match? Joey Parks need to look for Sarita’s career in TNA. She was honored in Japan recently with flowers and a plaque!
- Madison Rayne beat Velvet Sky, no problem!
- Crimson continues to tease a heel turn. Good. He needs one.
- Despite being overdone from Slammiversary IX to BFG, Samoa Joe and Crimson still work a good match together.
- Matt Morgan showed some heel tactics because Direct Auto Insurance’s rates are...kinda high.
- TNA has some pretty good commercials lately. Direct Auto, Christmas themed, March Madness themed, Valentine’s Day themed and SPIKE VGAs. Good stuff.
- Crimson’s undefeated streak hasn’t mattered since Turning Point. His tag team is ruining it!
- Austin Aries is the new longest-reigning X Division champion. He beat the record previously set by Daniels.
- Zema Ion’s new catchphrase, “Not only am I effin' pretty, but I’m pretty effin' dangerous” doesn’t sound as cool without the effin' part. Say it out loud.
- Why were you just talking to yourself?
- Kurt Angle hates Garett Bischoff and Jeff Hardy. Bet you didn’t know that.
- Gail Kim had to hit Mickie with her title to win. Madison just used Velvet’s tights. Not so sure who'll win at Victory Road...
- The X Division and Knockouts championship matches are both heel vs. heel at Victory Road.
- Daniels can’t tell the difference between lemonade and water. Lucky for him, Mr. Anderson sorted it out.
- Daniels cries tears of blood.
- Daniels vs. Anderson was my favorite match of the night.
- I still think we’ll see Team AJ vs. Team Daniels in the Lethal Lockdown. If Crimson turns heel on Morgan, we got three guys for each team so far. Who wouldn’t like to see AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Matt Morgan & TBA vs. Daniels, Kazarian, Crimson & TBA?
- Since Garett survived for five minutes, doesn’t Kurt Angle owe Garett his Olympic Gold Medal?
- The five-minute challenge was entertaining because Garett got his ass kicked for five whole minutes! YES!
- ShopTNA needs to start making some Robbie E T-shirts.
- Since Robbie is so good and has no challengers, he’s holding another open challenge. Because that’s what kind of champion he is!
- I have a feeling that either Pope, Devon or Douglas Williams will accept Robbie’s challenge. Of course, they’ll lose. No matter who accepts, Robbie E will still be champion!
- After losing to James Storm, it’s back to nothing for Gunner. :’(
- Bobby Roode said what most of the IMPACT locker room and fans think of Sting.
- Contract signings usually suck, but this one was great!
- Another good edition of IMPACT.
For weekly awards and a video of the week, check out my full Quick Thoughts on Enigmatic Wrestling (linked below)!
I should also get my Victory Road predictions on B/R sometime soon.
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