The 10 Best MMA Fights Professional Sports Have to Offer

Kevin W. Ryan@@kevry88Contributor IIIMarch 22, 2012

The 10 Best MMA Fights Professional Sports Have to Offer

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    Seeing as how Shaq has agreed to fight Jose Canseco, I figured we should plan out 10 more MMA fights in this beautiful world of professional sports. Everyone has their true loves, whether you're a diehard Cubs fan, Lambeau Cheese Head in five below zero temperature, or one of the lovely natives of Boston

    However, every sports fan has at least one team, player, coach or public figure that they despise.

    LeBron's "decision" to take his talent's to South Beach certainly created his fair share of haters—or maybe you think Carmelo is a little too dramatic and sad over all of the "Linsanity."

    Here are the 10 Best hypothetical MMA fights professional sports have to offer.   

10. Ndamukong Suh vs. Zdeno Chara

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    Tale of the Tape

    Suh: 6'4'', 307 pounds 

    Chara: 6'9'', 255 pounds

    Could you imagine if these two behemoths stepped into the Octagon? The collective testosterone would explode the arena. It reminds me of the scene from Fast Five when the two angry gorillas battle it out. 

    The only difference between their two aggressive professions is that Suh gets fined for his behavior, whereas Chara gets praised



    Advantage: Ndamukong Suh 


    The advantage has to go to big Suh simply for his unusual amount of beast mode. The 300-plus-pound Nebraska Cornhusker has proven to be the most powerful defensive end in recent history. Check with NFL quarterback's Blane Gabbert, Jake Delhomme, and Andy Dalton to see just how "bad" he really is...

9. Kobe vs. Terrell Owens

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    Tale of the Tape

    Kobe: 6'6'', 220 pounds

    T.O.: 6'3'', 224 pounds

    I would honestly love to see these two go at it one-on-one—that way we'd only have to deal with one extremely large ego.  

    Advantage: Terrell Owens 


    I think Owens has to be the clear favorite here seeing as how he takes the upmost pride in his physique.  

8. Jeremy Roenick vs. Sean Avery

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    Tale of the Tape

    JR: 6'1'', 200 pounds 

     Avery: 5'10'', 195 pounds

    Much like Kobe and T.O., these two have incredible self-confidence. Self-proclaimed "bad boy" Sean Avery is notorious for his comments on the rest of the league cleaning up his "sloppy seconds" and lashing out on the many "gay" comments he's received during his time. His website, is simply titled "Lover. Hater."—a full web page dedicated to Avery's off-ice modeling career. 

    Roenick, on the other hand, has sprouted as one of the most outspoken analysts the NHL has to offer. Whether its calling out Patrick Marleau and his "gutless" performance, or his clear impatience with Sidney Crosby's recovery. 



    Advantage: Roenick 


    It's very clear that JR misses the action on the ice and is certainly not too happy with the performances of former teammates—Marleau being the key target. This continual anger will be key in the Octagon.  

7. Jeremy Lin vs. Tim Tebow

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    Tale of the Tape


    Lin: 6'3'', 200 pounds 

    Tebow: 6'3", 236 pounds

    Why these two? The hype over "Linsanity" and "Tebow-mania" needs to go away, forever. 

    If Lin carried the Knicks to the playoffs, we'd have no choice but to join all of the ridiculous Lin puns. A seven-game win streak from a former D-League player is fabulous, but with all do respect, talk of him joining the All-Star game was ridiculous.

    Don't get me wrong, I wish you nothing but success my Northern California brethren, but the media continues to diminish the "superstar" title.

    Speaking of superstars, last time I checked, Tebow was 23rd in the league in completion percentage, which doesn't exactly deserve the stardom label. The media has lost a sense of true athletic ability, exploiting these two as "superstars" simply because they are fan favorites.

    When was the last time a forth or sixth-round draft pick was that valuable in a trade?   


    Advantage: Tebow


    Tebow is built like a brick. His religion forbids him from acting "immorally" like the rest of professional athletes, and that has allowed him the ability to stay in incredible shape—giving him the clear advantage over the smaller Lin.

    This bout in particular would generate incredible revenue, and hopefully end either "Super Lintendo" or "Tebow-mania".

6. Yoenis Cespedes vs. Prince Fielder

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    Tale of the Tape


    Prince: 5'11", 275 pounds 

    Cespedes: 6'0", 220 pounds

    Meet the new Oakland Athletics center fielder Yoenis Cespedes. The dude is a machine. His physique is built on pure strength and power and he is a true five-tool player. Many scrutinized the A's signing the Cuban outfielder to a four-year, $36 million contract, but as his Spring Training season has proven, he is a true talent.  


    Advantage: Prince


    Though Fielder is considered to be overweight for a professional athlete, he is an extremely talented first baseman, as his $214 million contract with the Detroit Tigers values him. He is the favorite in this bout, but Cespedes' homegrown power is not to be overlooked.

    It would be great to see these two take each other on in a home run derby rather than such a violent act of MMA. 

5. LeBron James vs. Calvin Johnson

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    Tale of the Tape


    Megatron: 6'5'', 236 pounds 

    LeBron: 6'8'', 255 pounds

    LeBron is the most pure athlete this world has to offer. It's safe to say there has never been another basketball player to move from one end of the floor to the other quite like LeBron. He is built like a tight end and moves like a track star, yet the media will not calm down until he wins a championship ring. 



    Advantage: LeBron


    Calvin Johnson has a similar build to LeBron with his ridiculous size and strength, but LeBron is the favorite if the two athletic specimen ever went head-to-head in the Octagon.  

4. Ray Lewis vs. Clay Matthews

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    Tale of the Tape

    Clay: 6'3", 255 pounds

    Ray: 6'1", 250 pounds

    Lewis has been one of the best linebackers in the league in recent history, and bringing that ferocious style to the ring would be truly special. Off the field he is very calm and collected, yet the second the opening kick-off occurs he becomes a vicious animal. 

    Matthews is incredibly similar to Lewis in his size and strength, but what sets him apart most is his incredible speed at his position. 



    Advantage: Clay Matthews


    Matthews gets the advantage purely based on age. Matthews has only played in the league for three seasons compared to Lewis' 16. Lewis will most likely retire within a year or two, yet will forever be remembered as one of the most-feared linebackers in the game's history. 

    As Marshawn Lynch said, "I'm lookin forward to playin' against RAY RAY...bringin' that Lumber!"

3. James Harrison vs. Dwight Howard

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    Tale of the Tape


    Harrison: 6'0", 240 pounds

    Howard: 6'11", 265 pounds

    Howard will most likely be the starting center for the 2012 USA Dream Team this coming summer, but I certainly wish he would take his talents into MMA. At 6'11", he has incredible reach, and since draft day he has worked vigorously to fill out his skinny build. 



    Advantage: James Harrison


    Cleveland Browns quarterback Colt McCoy knows how hard Harrison hits better than anyone thus far, seeing as how Harrison was suspended one game for knocking McCoy into the next week.

    I imagine Harrison's hunger for dishing out pain would transfer very well into the Octagon... 

2. Patrick Willis vs. Dustin Byfuglien

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    Tale of the Tape

    Willis: 6'1", 240 pounds

    Byfuglien: 6'4'", 257 pounds

    Meet Winnipeg Jets defenseman Dustin Byfuglien. Byfuglien already has a Stanley Cup under his belt with the 2010 Chicago Blackhawks, and he moved to Atlanta to play with the Thrashers, which eventually relocated to the wonderful hockey town of Winnipeg. He toes the blue line at an incredible 257 pounds and has one of the hardest shots in the league.

    Patrick Willis matches up well with Byfuglien because of his obvious size, strength and overall beastmode-ness



    Advantage: Patrick Willis


    Willis has the advantage based on pure strength, but the matchup would be incredible to see in the MMA.

1. Ron Artest vs. Metta World Peace

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    Tale of the Tape


    Ron Artest: 6'7", 260 pounds

    Metta World Peace: 6'7", 260 pounds

    Two of my favorite NBA athletes of all time meet up at No. 1. Ron Artest, notorious for his brawl, matches up against Metta World Peace, who apparently is a quasi-Ghandi figure on the hardwood.  



    Advantage: Ron Artest 


    Artest had much more anger than Metta World Peace. The Ron Artest days in the NBA included applying for a job at Circuit City, coming to practice in a bath robe and domestic violence. 

    But that's all in the past now. It's smooth sailing ahead for the aspiring math teacher...