As you may have heard, the Mets recently signed starting pitcher Tim Redding. I went through quite a complex series of (mostly negative) emotions about Mr. Redding joining the Mets.
Therefore, I present to you The Five Stages of Signing Tim Redding (and my thoughts during each stage I went through).
The first stage was denial. "There's no way these rumors will come true," I told myself, "they'll sign Derek Lowe and Oliver Perez, we all know that. They would never go for someone like Tim Redding, he's not good at all."
The second stage was anger. As you can probably imagine, this stage involved many, let's say, "choice words," words that I'd probably be best off not writing (things like "Who the... fork would sign Tim Redding?" and "That son of a.... female dog signed Redding when he could've gotten Perez to fill up that back of the rotation spot!")
The third stage was bargaining. "Well, Tim Redding could have a decent season," I was saying to myself, "and he's only a fifth starter—so I guess he's not too bad for a back of the rotation pitcher."
The fourth stage was depression. "Aw, who am I kidding," I said, "Redding is awful. I shouldn't even watch the Mets anymore, they'll do terrible with this guy on their team next year. He's an awful pitcher."
The final stage was acceptance. "You know what?" I said, "Tim Redding is a decent pitcher. He's a back of the rotation pitcher anyway. Why am I making such a big deal out of this? He's a Met, and like it or not, there's nothing I can do about it."