WWE SmackDown: A Cage Match, Big Johnny vs. Teddy Long, a Six-Man Tag and More

Kyle SchadlerChief Writer IMarch 10, 2012


WWE SmackDown opened with John Laurinaitis and David Otunga in the ring. Big Johnny was going to prove why he deserved to be the sole general manager and booked a cage match for the United States Championship.

I was pleasantly surprised that this was short and to the point. Most opening segments in WWE last 20 minutes, but this was about a minute long.

Right to a match—I like that!

Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger: Cage Match for the United States Championship

Santino retained his title after Vickie Guerrero accidently smashed the door into Swagger’s head.

I was expecting this to be an overall comedy match much like on Monday but this was actually pretty good.

I don’t think this should have been a cage match, though.

While both wrestlers performed well, and the cage overall kept interference to a minimum, I would have preferred if this was an actual one-on-one match.

Backstage, John Laurinaitis is calm despite what just happened. Teddy Long then walked in and Mr. Excitement declared that Kane vs. Aksana was still happening.

Teddy tried to get him to change his mind, including saying please and apologizing for pushing him. Big Johnny would have nothing of it, though, and booked Teddy Long vs. John Laurinaitis for later.

If Teddy won, then the match would indeed go down.

Well that was an interesting segment. I don’t really see who threatening to put a Diva in a match against a monster like Kane is supposed to impress the board of directors.

Drew McIntyre then made his way out and said that Laurinaitis was going to give him another chance. His opponent turned to be the Great Khali but Otunga quickly changed it to Hornswoggle.

I’m glad to see McIntyre get another chance but Hornswoggle, really?

Drew McIntyre vs. Hornswoggle

McIntyre picked up the win after the referee stopped the match. The Scottish superstar was then congratulated with a Brain Chop from Khali.

What a waste of time this was. I love that McIntyre isn’t actually gone, but it would have been so much better to see him gain his job back by having a legitimate match.

I suppose, though, we just saw the formation of WWE newest tag-team, the Great Khali and Hornswoggle.

Future tag team champions right there!

If I was on the board of directors, I wouldn’t be too happy right now. Threatening to put a Diva in a match with Kane and letting one of the superstars destroy a little person aren’t exactly good decisions in my book.

Backstage, Teddy Long was getting ready when Aksana ran in scared. Teddy was going to teach Laurinaitis a lesson and that transitioned to Big Johnny getting ready as well.

Otunga walked in and said that Kane was angry and the segment ended. Well, at least this match isn’t happening at WrestleMania.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

The World’s Strongest Man picked up the victory with the World’s Strongest Slam. This was the typical slow, big-man match.

I haven’t been this bored since a Mark Henry/Big Show match.

Henry has slowed down so much since getting injured and losing the title. Having him in random matches after being world champion for three months does nothing for him.

If he doesn’t reenter the main event picture after WrestleMania then I think it’s just time to finally let him go.

Big Zeke is just muscle and doesn’t add any depth to SmackDown. I can see him getting a pink slip after WrestleMania.

John Laurinaitis vs. Teddy Long

Laurinaitis tried to get Teddy to just lay down but he refused. That brought out Kane, which brought out Randy Orton

The Apex predator quickly hit an RKO and Teddy used that distraction as a chance to roll up Johnny Ace for the win.

Well that was a bit anticlimactic. I was hoping for at least a few punches before the rollup of doom.

The match happened, though, so hopefully we won’t have to see it happen again!

Booming Truth vs. Primo and Epico

Kingston and Truth picked up the win after R-Truth hit the Lie Detector on Primo. This was a pretty good match that saw some nice action.

It’s a bit disappointing that WWE just threw a team together and now they seem to be No. 1 contenders.

Though I suppose that since WWE only has four teams, it’s not hard to become the No. 1 contenders for the belts.

I was hoping that after Kingston’s great performance at the Elimination Chamber that he’d actually get pushed, at the very least to the United States Championship.

Unfortunately he’s been stuck with another random partner.

I like R-Truth and all, but Kingston is a great performer who shouldn’t have to be in the almost dead tag-team division.

As for Primo and Epico, my home state of Connecticut seemed to hate them when they appeared on the stage but then stopped caring when they started walking to the ring.

As heels they should be getting a lot more heat. Rosa Mendes needs to do some talking for them and bring in some boos.

It was interview time as the always-annoying Michaels Cole conducted an interview with Daniel Bryan and Sheamus.

The world champion basically gave us the same old shtick: he’s champion because he’s a great wrestler, a vegan, has charisma and has sex appeal. Well, the sex appeal is a new one but it was basically the same thing.

Sheamus said that it was luck that he’s challenging for the title, but it was luck he made himself. He fought his way back to the top and didn’t hide behind a 99-pound woman like A.J.

She tried to say something and Bryan told her to shut up.

Sheamus declared that it should be Bryan that’s wearing the skirt and that he was a whiny little wimp. He was going to take the title at Wrestlemania and that brought out Cody Rhodes for the main event.

While both Bryan and Sheamus were quite good on the mic here, they didn’t say anything that we haven’t heard before.

WWE creative has this problem a lot. The Rock/Cena and Punk/Jericho promos are all basically the same thing as well.

Creative needs some new material!

Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Miz vs. Sheamus, Big Show and Randy Orton

The face team picked up the win here when Orton hit the RKO on the Miz.

I thought this was a decent match, though nothing special. All six men gave it their all but the match was just bland.

Seeing WrestleMania opponents go at it before the event is always good to see but I didn’t really find it that exciting here.

The Miz was just kind of there and continued his push to the bottom. I don’t know what he did to anger the boss, but he’s gone from awesome to just plain sad over the past few months.

I did like that it was Orton and Miz in the finish, though. Seeing someone get pinned by their WrestleMania opponent or by someone who isn’t even on the card yet would make them look weak.

Post-match, Kane appeared and brawled with Orton into the crowd.

That was a cool way to end the show. The hunter has certainly become the hunted and Kane may have chosen the wrong man to go after.

It’s a bit disappointing that this is what Orton’s WrestleMania match is going to be but I guess it is what it is.

I’m a fan of Kane and all, but I’d like to see him finally go after Mark Henry for injuring him over the summer.

Overall I thought this episode of SmackDown was very bland. Only two out of the six matches were worth watching and the in-ring segments were boring.

Maybe this was intentional, though.

I’m sure there are fans that enjoyed the show, but for those that didn’t, that gets them behind Teddy Long more than Big Johnny.

Raw was much better than SmackDown which shows that Teddy is the better general manager if you look at it like that.

I thought this week’s SmackDown was a major step down from previous weeks and that could be because of Mr. Excitement.

Being from Connecticut, I’m really glad I decided not to go to the show!


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