March Madness 2012: The Best Fictional Athletes Bracket

Photo Credit: Brianorndorf.com

Brackets. Ahhhhh, brackets. 

They invade everything we touch and surround us like "The Force." Here is a bracket that will bust any and all that stand in its way. 

We have a field of 64 fictional athletes and set them against one another in a battle that would make fans of Dragonball Z all giggly pants.

First thing to understand is that we are dealing with the land of make believe, where Teen Wolf is a person and Rex Ryan passes on seconds. 

That means some things may make sense and others will not. The key here is for you to take it completely serious and trash these selections in the comments sections below. 

These lists tend to get taken far too seriously, so let's embrace it. Where did I go wrong, people? Let's debate. 

First, the field of 64 broken up into four distinct regionals that exist only in my mind. 

 

RADICAL REGIONAL

Athlete	Work of Fiction
1. Rocky	Rocky I - Rocky Balboa
2. Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez	The Sandlot
3. Mr. Miyagi	Karate Kid I, II and III (The Next Karate Kid will be ignored)
4. Willie Beamen	Any Given Sunday
5. Jack Elliott	Mr. Baseball
6. Ty Webb	Caddyshack
7. Willie Mays Hayes	Major League I and II
8. Sidney Deane	White Men Can't Jump
9. Steve Lattimer	The Program
10. Ricky Bobby	Talladega Nights
11. Santiago Munez	Goal I, II and the trash that was III
12. Shane Falco	The Replacements
13. Jimmy Chitwood	Hoosiers
14. Jackie Moon	Semi-Pro
15. Air Bud	Air Bud
16. Clubber Lang	Rocky III

 

BODACIOUS REGIONAL 

Athlete	Work of Fiction
1. Roy Hobbs	The Natural
2. Reg Dunlop	Slapshot
3. Apollo Creed	Rocky I - IV
4. Roy McAvoy	Tin Cup
5. Maggie Fitzgerald	Million Dollar Baby
6. Crash Davis	Bull Durham
7. Paul Blake	Necessary Roughness
8. Billy Hoyle	White Men Can't Jump
9. Mox	Varsity Blues
10. Forrest Gump	Forrest Gump
11. Nuke LaLoosh	Bull Durham
12. Pedro Cerrano	Major League
13. Steve Nebraska	The Scout
14. Jimmy Dugan	A League of Their Own
15. Bobby Rayburn	The Fan
16. Hamilton Porter	The Sandlot

 

GNARLY REGIONAL  

Athlete	Work of Fiction
1. Jesus Shuttlesworth	He Got Game
2. Dottie Hinson	A League of Their Own
3. Bugs Bunny	Rod Tidwell
4. Rod Tidwell	Jerry Maguire
5. Joe Kane	The Program
6. Happy Gilmore	Happy Gilmore
7. Ivan Drago	Rocky IV
8. Jake Taylor	Major League I and II
9. Kenny Powers	Eastbound and Down
10. Kit Keller	A League of Their Own
11. Billy Chapel	For Love of the Game
12. Ernie McCracken	Kingpin
13. Lincoln Hawk	Over the Top
14. Doug Dorsey and Kate Moseley	Cutting Egde
15. Ryan Dunne	Summer Catch
16. Andrew Clark	The Breakfast Club

 

TUBULAR REGIONAL

Athlete	Work of Fiction
1. Scott Howard/Teen Wolf	Teen Wolf
2. Ricky Vaughn	Major League I and II
3. Robin Ramzinski	The Wrestler
4. Bobby Boucher	The Waterboy
5. Chuck Norris	Sidekicks
6. Paul Crewe	The Longest Yard
7. Marla Hooch	A League of Their Own
8. Shark Lavay	Any Given Sunday
9. Kelly Leak	Bad News Bears
10. Roger Dorn	Major League I and II
11. Stan Ross	Mr. 3000
12. Lou Collins	Little Big League
13. Shooter McGavin	Happy Gilmore
14. White Goodman	Dodgeball
15. Mark Cooper	Hanging with Mr. Cooper
16. Michael "Squints" Palledorous	The Sandlot

 

And finally, the fictional athletes that failed to make the field of 64.

Athlete	Work of Fiction
Jim Bowers	Little Big League
Billy Brubaker	Summer Catch
Jack 'Deuce' Cooper	Ed
Juwanna Mann	Juwanna Mann
Cal Naughton Jr.	Talladega Nights
David Simms	Tin Cup
Marcus	"My Brother's Keeper" Episode of Fresh Prince
Daniel LaRusso	Karate Kid
Cru	Rad

 

The Jamaican bobsled team has to be acknowledged, but it is far too "non-fictional." I have some rules. 

Now, let's begin to breakdown the last bracket you will ever need—or not. Let's do it either way. 

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First Round: Radical Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 16 Seed

Photo Credit: Hark.com

Rocky Balboa vs. Clubber Lang 

Lang has brutal punching power, but he isn't the brightest. Balboa would find another hole in his game and capitalize on it. 

Also, Rocky always wins, even when he loses. 

Rocky Balboa Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 15 Seed

Photo Credit: LoteriaChicana.com

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez vs. Air Bud 

Um, so "The Jet" destroyed one dog in only the greatest pickle known to man. Oh, yeah, and then he made that dog his pet. 

Sorry, Bud. 

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 14 Seed

Photo Credit: Browsingthemind.wordpress.com

Mr. Miyagi vs. Jackie Moon

Oh, I hate to see Jackie Moon go, but he doesn't have what it takes to take down the great Mr. Miyagi. He knows how to teach karate and get his house painted and sanded. 

Mr. Miyagi Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 13 Seed

Willie Beamen vs. Jimmy Chitwood 

Duh, upset city. 

Jimmy Chitwood wants that last shot, and Beamen is a cocky quarterback prone to losing his lunch on the field. 

Actually, I just wanted to play the final shot one more time. 

Jimmy Chitwood Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 5 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Photo Credit: MTV

Jack Elliott vs. Shane Falco 

Shane Falco is a great quarterback who delivers the ball way better than Keanu Reeves delivers lines, but this goes to the man with the best mustache in the history of such things. 

Jack Elliott Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 6 Seed vs. No. 11 Seed

Ty Webb vs. Santiago Munez 

I hate to do this to poor Santi, but Ty Webb wins on pure comedic ability and deadpan delivery. You world football fans can cry about it. 

Ty Webb Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 7 Seed vs. No. 10 Seed

Photo Credit: Omega-Level.net

Willie Mays Hayes vs. Ricky Bobby 

This is not a good bracket for Will Ferrell, who is far too susceptible to his best friend stealing his woman and Borat out-driving him. 

Willie Mays Hayes has a whole collection of batting gloves, and he intends to use every one. 

Willie Mays Hayes Wins 

First Round: Radical Region No. 8 Seed vs. No. 9 Seed

Photo Credit: Front Room Cinema

Sidney Deane vs. Steve Lattimer 

Seeing as how performance-enhancing drugs are as in vogue as the singing group En Vogue, Lattimer gets beat down in a short game of one-on-one. 

Sidney Deane Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 16 Seed

Photo Credit: IGN

Roy Hobbs vs. Hamilton Porter

Please, Hamilton Porter is only fit to go get Roy Hobbs a winner from the bat rack. 

Roy Hobbs Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 15 Seed

Photo Credit: Sports.Yahoo.Com

Reg Dunlop vs. Bobby Rayburn

Reg Dunlop moves on simply for the fact that The Fan was quite possibly the worst sports film ever filmed. It may even be the worst sports movie ever considered. This includes my idea for an Air Bud/ Juwanna Mann movie. 

Reg Dunlop Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 14 Seed

Apollo Creed vs. Jimmy Dugan

Apollo Creed's footwork would allow him to run circles around a slugger that has bad knees and considers himself a Peach. 

Apollo Creed Wins

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 13 Seed

Photo Credit: Awesome B Movies

Roy McAvoy vs. Steve Nebraska 

The fictional Aroldis Chapman would no doubt get the bullpen treatment after batters learn how to catch up to his triple-digit heat. 

Okay, that may be reaching, but the movie sucked and Roy McAvoy is the man that always "goes for it." Even with Rene Russo, so he wins. 

Roy McAvoy Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 5 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Maggie Fitzgerald vs. Pedro Cerrano

I loved me some Million Dollar Baby, but Pedro Cerrano is the most underrated character from one of the greatest all-time films. 

We have ourselves a potential Cinderella—alert ESPN. 

Pedro Cerrano Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 6 Seed vs. No. 11 Seed

Photo Credit: Deliberation Room

Crash Davis vs. Nuke LaLoosh 

This battle would drive amazing ratings, and it goes to the grizzled vet that never made it to the bigs aside from a cup of coffee. 

Crash Davis gets the game, and that means everything. 

Crash Davis Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 7 Seed vs. No. 10 Seed

Paul Blake vs. Forrest Gump 

There is no getting around Forrest Gump and his ability to luck into the most amazing life moments. Plus, he is the greatest kick returner ever known. 

Forrest Gump Wins 

First Round: Bodacious Region No. 8 Seed vs. No. 9 Seed

Photo Credit: Tbseblog.com

Billy Hoyle vs. Jonathan "Mox" Moxon 

Mox takes over the team from a horrible coach that wants to win at any cost. Billy Hoyle plays for the sheer love of the game—and to get out from under the Stucci brothers. 

I take Hoyle by the slimmest of margins, because he never misses a wide-open jumpshot. He is the anti-J.R. Smith, and I like that about him. 

Billy Hoyle Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 16 Seed

Photo Credit: Neon University City

Jesus Shuttlesworth vs. Andrew Clark 

Andrew Clark would just tape your buns together and get detention. This battle is easy and goes to the character that is far more likable than Ray Allen. 

Jesus Shuttlesworth Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 15 Seed

Photo Credit: Screened.com

Dottie Hinson vs. Ryan Dunne 

Ryan Dunne gets the girl, which happens to be Jessica Biel. For this, we give him enough extra credit points to make this a nail-biter until the final few minutes of the game.

Hinson still takes this one with her ability to hit the other way and catch a solid game. She also saved the AAGBL from going under when Walter Harvey wanted to close it down. 

Dottie Hinson Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 14 Seed

Photo Credit: Martelli.Mlblogs.com

Bugs Bunny vs. Doug Dorsey and Kate Moseley

I love me some Cutting Edge, and I am not the least bit ashamed to say it. Dorsey and Moseley pull off the unthinkable Pemchenko Twist and pretty much take my manly breath away every time. 

However, Bugs Bunny's stuff is just filthy, and way sicker than anything Yu Darvish has in his arsenal. 

Bugs Bunny Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 13 Seed

Rod Tidwell vs. Lincoln Hawk

Lincoln Hawk would be busy pleading for an arm wrestling match while Tidwell is off running tight routes and winning Cuba Gooding Jr. and Oscar. 

This win goes to the fictional Cardinals receiver. You see, Arizona? You can win something. 

Rod Tidwell Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 5 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Joe Kane vs. Ernie McCracken

Upset, y'all!

Joe Kane pulls off an epic Munson and falls to Big Ern in the opening round. Now McCracken is just flossin' after the match.

Wait, flossin', where did I get Munson from?

Ernie McCracken Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 6 Seed vs. No. 11 Seed

Photo Credit: Free-Extras.com

Happy Gilmore vs. Billy Chapel

This bracket already has far too much Kevin Costner than I can stand. With that, we let the man that inadvertently killed Chubbs to go on to the next round. 

Happy Gilmore Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 7 Seed vs. No. 10 Seed

Ivan Drago vs. Kit Keller 

Oh, I have been waiting years to see Kit Keller lose. The ending of A League of Their Own is pure garbage as Dottie Hinson completely lets her team down to allow her bratty sister win the big game...

Full disclosure, I am an older brother and may be biased against the final moments of what I consider the most controversial ending in all movies. 

Ivan Drago Wins 

First Round: Gnarly Region No. 8 Seed vs. No. 9 Seed

Photo Credit: TheFlickCast.com

Jake Taylor vs. Kenny Powers 

I had to include one game that was completely and utterly seeded incorrectly. This makes it seem far more like the real NCAA tournament. 

With that, we give you the beatdown of comedy that Kenny Powers would deliver on Jake Taylor and his bad knees and inability to get the ball down to second anymore. 

Kenny Powers Wins 

First Round: Tubular Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 16 Seed

Photo Credit: IGN

Teen Wolf vs. Michael "Squints" Palledorous 

Squints gets off to an early lead by landing Wendy Peffercorn, but you can't outlast the power of the wolf. 

The greatest high school basketball player that also happens to be a werewolf wins in a landslide. 

Teen Wolf Wins 

First Round: Tubular Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 15 Seed

Photo Credit: The-Rpf.com

Rick Vaughn vs. Mark Cooper 

Yeah, this may be the greatest pummeling of them all. Yeah, I watched Mr. Cooper when I was younger, but that doesn't mean I am comfortable letting such things out in the open. 

Cue the music, because Wild Thing is about to get busy. 

Rick Vaughn Wins 

First Round: Tubular Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 14 Seed

Robin Ramzinski vs. White Goodman

Wave a doughnut in front of White Goodman and he is donezos. There is also no beating a man that continues to wrestle simply for the love of the sport. 

Excuse me, because I need a moment. 

Robin Ramzinski Wins 

First Round: Tubular Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 13 Seed

Photo Credit: Culture Blues

Bobby Boucher vs. Shooter McGavin

Is your head done spinning from the fact that a protagonist from one Adam Sandler film will battle the antagonist from another?

Shooter McGavin gets a beatdown thanks to some Tacklin' Fuel. 

Bobby Boucher Wins 

First Round: Tubular Regional No. 5 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Photo Credit: ToutleCine.com

Chuck Norris vs. Lou Collins 

Fictional Chuck Norris living in the mind of Jonathan Brandis would destroy Lou Collins from Little Big League. 

Collins looks like someone the Dodgers would sign to play second base for their team. 

Chuck Norris Wins

First Round: Tubular Regional No. 6 Seed vs. No. 11 Seed

Photo Credit: FanSided.com

Paul Crewe vs. Stan Ross 

Ah, this is a tough one, and a match that gets muddied by the fact that Adam Sandler was the most recent incarnation of a role that Burt Reynolds owned. 

Despite the handicap, Reynolds' version beats Stan Ross and the three hits he can't seem to get. 

Paul Crewe Wins

First Round: Tubular Regional No. 7 Seed vs. No. 10 Seed

Marla Hooch vs. Roger Dorn

This regional may not feature upsets to this point, and it won't begin here. Hooch is simply an indispensable part of the Rockford Peach's lineup. 

She can hit for average and power and may just own the purest swing since Ted Williams. I am still willing to buy a ticket for Roger Dorn day. 

Marla Hooch Wins 

First Round: Tubular Regional No. 8 Seed vs. No. 9 Seed

Photo Credit: Scene-Stealers.com

Shark Lavay vs. Kelly Leak

This isn't even a contest.

Leake comes from an era when smoking cigarettes and growing your hair long was the sign of an uber rebel. 

Lavay would play with a missing limb. So this one goes to the Shark. 

Shark Lavay Wins 

Second Round: Radical Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 8 Seed

Rocky Balboa vs. Sidney Deane

Rocky gave us sick montages that lasted for hours. Sidney Deane took his friends' money in a bet he knew he would win. For shame, for shame, Sidney Deane. 

Rocky Balboa Wins

Second Round: Radical Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 7 Seed

Photo Credit: The End Zone

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez vs. Willie Mays Hayes

Speed meets speed in an all-out war for basepath supremacy. You have Rodriguez that clearly makes his mark in the Majors. 

However, Hayes can also has some pop in his swing. I like Hayes and his ability to steal home runs with his leaping ability. 

Willie Mays Hayes Wins 

Second Round: Radical Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 6 Seed

Photo Credit: Kaispace.wordpress.com

Mr. Miyagi vs. Ty Webb

This really comes down to the battle of cool. Nothing affects Ty Webb, but you can say the same about Mr. Miyagi. 

He also had to deal with the whiny adventures of Daniel LaRusso. 

Mr. Miyagi

Second Round: Radical Region No. 5 Seed vs. No. 13 Seed

Jack Elliott vs. Jimmy Chitwood 

The question remains—does Jimmy Chitwood sink the same shot on another night? Of course not. He isn't Kobe Bryant, which is precisely why that shot is so remarkable. 

Sorry, everyone that will hate this pick. 

Jack Elliott Wins

Second Round: Bodacious Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 8 Seed

Photo Credit: EightiesMovies.Wordpress.com

Roy Hobbs vs. Billy Hoyle 

Both men are magical, but I will take the greatest that ever was and the greatest that ever will be. 

Roy Hobbs Wins 

Second Round: Bodacious Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 10 Seed

Photo Credit: Red Wings Hardware

Reg Dunlop vs. Forrest Gump 

Dunlop wins a close one. It comes down to Dunlop being able to get in your head with trash talk. Unfortunately, that trash talk cannot be shown here because of the kiddies. 

Reg Dunlop Wins 

Second Round: Bodacious Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 6 Seed

Apollo Creed vs. Crash Davis 

Well, my man-crush loyalties are getting a bit divided right now. 

It comes down to Carl Weathers vs. Kevin Costner for this one. Yes, I am stepping out of the box, but I invented this crazy world, and it's my rules. 

For tie-breakers we go to an immediate other movie that comes to mind. 

Carl Weathers vs.	Kevin Costner
Predator	Waterworld

Apollo Creed Wins

Second Round: Bodacious Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Photo Credit: Mostly Muppet

Roy McAvoy vs. Pedro Cerrano 

Rene Russo comes into the movie and McAvoy gets the shanks. Wave some marbles infront of Cerrano, and he goes HAM on a slider on the inside corner. Cinderella continues to dace. 

Pedro Cerrano Wins 

Second Round: Gnarly Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 9 Seed

Photo Credit: Deuce of Davenport

Jesus Shuttlesworth vs. Kenny Powers 

I smell upset, but that may just be the cologne Powers is wearing that smells of man and awesome. This is a victory that I didn't see coming, and it will be talked about for years. 

Or it may just be overanalyzed in the comments section. 

Kenny Powers Wins

Second Round: Gnarly Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 10 Seed

Photo Credit: High Socks Legend

Dottie Hinson vs. Ivan Drago

Hinson only gives up right at the very end, so she takes this one. 

Dottie Hinson Wins 

Second Round: Gnarly Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 6 Seed

Bugs Bunny vs. Happy Gilmore 

I would love to keep Happy Gilmore, but Bugs plays iron-man baseball. There is just no way to beat someone with that much versatility. 

Bugs Bunny Wins 

Second Round: Gnarly Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Rod Tidwell vs. Ernie McCracken

You can't beat Ernie McCracken, even when it would have been a happy conclusion to a hilarious movie. He wins here, but only because I can't get enough of his clips. 

Ernie McCracken Wins 

Second Round: Tubular Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 8 Seed

Teen Wolf vs. Shark Lavay

The Wolf takes down the Shark, but not for the reason you think. 

It's because Teen Wolf can straight-up boogie. 

Teen Wolf Wins 

Second Round: Tubular Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 7 Seed

Photo Credit: MinorLeagueBall.com

Rick Vaughn vs. Marla Hooch 

Vaughn struck out Clew Haywood, so you know he will have no trouble pitching Hooch into a corner. She may foul off a couple like Haywood did, but she is going back to the dugout with shattered dreams. 

Rick Vaughn Wins 

Second Round: Tubular Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 6 Seed

Photo Credit: Philmology.com

Robin Ramzinski vs. Paul Crewe

Robin Ramzinski is just too tough and unrelenting a character not to win this one. I give brownie points to Marisa Tomei featuring in the movie as well. 

Robin Ramzinski Wins

Second Round: Tubular Region No. 4 Seed vs. No. 5 Seed

Bobby Boucher vs. Chuck Norris 

In a make-believe world where fictional Chuck Norris matches up with a fictional Bobby Boucher, Chuck Norris wins. 

Even in a land where anything can happen, this myth of a man continues to dominate. 

Chuck Norris Wins 

Sweet 16: Radical Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 5 Seed

Rocky vs. Jack Elliott

The amazing run of Mr. Baseball comes to an end with the power and awe that is Rocky IV. There are better movies out there, but not many. 

It has everything, including two montages that clock in at the grand total of my entire childhood. Awesome. 

Rocky

Sweet 16: Radical Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 7 Seed

Photo Credit: JeffGoThelf.com

Mr. Miyagi vs. Willie Mays Hayes 

You can run, but you can't hide from the power and wisdom that is Mr. Miyagi. He pretty much made Larusso into a fighting machine. 

Yes, that is doing the impossible if you are scoring at home. 

Mr. Miyagi Wins

Sweet 16: Bodacious Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Photo Credit: Mop-Up Duty

Roy Hobbs vs. Pedro Cerrano 

What do you want him to do? Do you want him to strike you out on three straight pitches or hit a game-winner that also busts every light in the joint out. 

Roy Hobbs Wins 

Sweet 16: Bodacious Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 3 Seed

Photo Credit: Psycho Lady Hockey

Reg Dunlop vs. Apollo Creed 

We have a con man that turns around a franchise against the pizazz of Rocky's BFF. Dunlop would find a way to win this one—or have someone win it for him. 

Reg Dunlop Wins 

Sweet 16: Gnarly Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 3 Seed

Dottie Hinson vs. Bugs Bunny 

Did I forget to mention Bugs can ball, as he once did with Michael Jordan? Take a seat, Dottie. 

Bugs Bunny Wins 

Sweet 16: Gnarly Region No. 9 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Kenny Powers vs. Ernie McCracken 

In yet another tie-breaker scenario, we go to the cards. Yes, the cards still mean body of work, and we don't even have to break this down. 

Ernie McCracken Wins 

Sweet 16: Tubular Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 5 Seed

Photo Credit: MovieHole.net

Teen Wolf vs. Chuck Norris 

Chuck Norris is the ultimate weapon against all men, and he cannot be killed with conventional weapons. 

Scott Howard is no mere man, and Teen Wolf is not conventional. 

Teen Wolf Wins 

Sweet 16: Tubular Region No. 2 Seed vs. No. 3 Seed

Ricky Vaughn vs. Robin Ramzinski 

I think we have had about enough of the sad story that ends with me crying in my wife's arms, clutching a bowl of popcorn that now needs to refilled. 

Hooray for happy endings, and huzzah for the Wild Thing. 

Ricky Vaughn Wins 

Elite Eight: Radical Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 3 Seed

Rocky vs. Mr. Miyagi 

Everybody, please stand up in your office cubicle and give a round of applause to Mr. Miyagi, because he fought an admirable fight. 

I am choking up a bit, because I was hoping he would fictionally win in this fictional landscape, but Rocky never stops fighting. Seriously, like ever. 

Rocky Wins

Elite Eight: Bodacious Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 2 Seed

Photo Credit: Film Jackets.com

Roy Hobbs vs. Reg Dunlop 

I wanted to be Roy Hobbs growing up, even getting an awkward crush on Glenn Close during my formative years. 

I still hold hope to get a looksie from the Knights and never allow any lady dressed in black to share an elevator with me. 

Roy Hobbs Wins 

Elite Eight: Gnarly Region No. 3 Seed vs. No. 12 Seed

Bugs Bunny vs. Ernie McCracken

By this point, the ratings would trump anything Tim Tebow or Jeremy Lin could ever command, and we have yet another marquee matchup. 

I have established my man crush on Big Ern, but Bugs Bunny's versatility and ability to aggravate while playing some great golf wins in the end. 

Bugs Bunny Wins 

Elite Eight: Tubular Region No. 1 Seed vs. No. 2 Seed

Photo Credit: MoviesAboutGaldiators.com

Teen Wolf vs. Rick Vaughn 

These waves belong to Teen Wolf, who is as cool as the other side of Stuart Scott's pillow. 

Teen Wolf Wins 

Final Four: No. 1 Rocky vs. No. 1 Roy Hobbs

Photo Credit: TheAceBlackBlog.com

This is where things get messy, and we are sure to lose some people with our pick, but it has to go to Roy Hobbs. 

With just one movie, Hobbs captivated every sports fan that always wanted to be considered the best that ever was. 

It's one beautiful movie rather than a collection of hits and misses. There will never be another The Natural, but I will wager another Rocky script is sitting on Sylvester Stallone's desk.

Roy Hobbs Wins

Final Four: No. 1 Teen Wolf vs. No. 3 Bugs Bunny

The Teen Wolf cartoon keeps Scott Howard in the game until Bug Bunny busts out something that would border between shenanigans and hijinx. 

Either way, the legend that is the Bunny moves on to the final. 

Bugs Bunny Wins 

Final: No. 1 Roy Hobbs vs. No. 3 Bugs Bunny

The best ending to a sports movie deserves another look, and here it is. 

Roy Hobbs Wins

There was never any question. Roy Hobbs is the perfect fictional character, because his bigger than life myth is accessible by this gifted man that almost saw his dream pass him bye. 

The ending isn't a sappy mess, rather a perfect culmination of a superstar that loved his sport. I may start crying again, so I leave you with the only way I know how to end brackets. 

One Shining Moment

The End