March Madness 2012: The Best Fictional Athletes Bracket

« Prev
1 of 66
Next »
Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse the slideshow
March Madness 2012: The Best Fictional Athletes Bracket
Photo Credit: Brianorndorf.com

Brackets. Ahhhhh, brackets. 

They invade everything we touch and surround us like "The Force." Here is a bracket that will bust any and all that stand in its way. 

We have a field of 64 fictional athletes and set them against one another in a battle that would make fans of Dragonball Z all giggly pants.

First thing to understand is that we are dealing with the land of make believe, where Teen Wolf is a person and Rex Ryan passes on seconds. 

That means some things may make sense and others will not. The key here is for you to take it completely serious and trash these selections in the comments sections below. 

These lists tend to get taken far too seriously, so let's embrace it. Where did I go wrong, people? Let's debate. 

First, the field of 64 broken up into four distinct regionals that exist only in my mind. 

 

RADICAL REGIONAL

Athlete Work of Fiction
1. Rocky Rocky I - Rocky Balboa
2. Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez The Sandlot 
3. Mr. Miyagi Karate Kid I, II and III (The Next Karate Kid will be ignored)
4. Willie Beamen Any Given Sunday
5. Jack Elliott Mr. Baseball
6. Ty Webb Caddyshack
7. Willie Mays Hayes Major League I and II
8. Sidney Deane White Men Can't Jump 
9. Steve Lattimer The Program 
10. Ricky Bobby  Talladega Nights
11. Santiago Munez Goal I, II and the trash that was III
12. Shane Falco  The Replacements
13. Jimmy Chitwood  Hoosiers
14. Jackie Moon Semi-Pro
15. Air Bud  Air Bud
16. Clubber Lang  Rocky III

 

BODACIOUS REGIONAL 

Athlete Work of Fiction
1. Roy Hobbs The Natural 
2. Reg Dunlop Slapshot  
3. Apollo Creed Rocky I - IV
4. Roy McAvoy Tin Cup
5. Maggie Fitzgerald  Million Dollar Baby 
6. Crash Davis Bull Durham
7. Paul Blake  Necessary Roughness
8. Billy Hoyle White Men Can't Jump 
9. Mox Varsity Blues  
10. Forrest Gump  Forrest Gump 
11. Nuke LaLoosh Bull Durham
12. Pedro Cerrano   Major League
13. Steve Nebraska   The Scout
14. Jimmy Dugan  A League of Their Own
15. Bobby Rayburn  The Fan 
16. Hamilton Porter The Sandlot 

 

GNARLY REGIONAL  

Athlete Work of Fiction
1. Jesus Shuttlesworth He Got Game 
2. Dottie Hinson  A League of Their Own  
3. Bugs Bunny  Rod Tidwell
4. Rod Tidwell Jerry Maguire
5. Joe Kane  The Program
6. Happy Gilmore  Happy Gilmore 
7. Ivan Drago  Rocky IV
8. Jake Taylor Major League I and II
9. Kenny Powers Eastbound and Down 
10. Kit Keller  A League of Their Own 
11. Billy Chapel    For Love of the Game
12. Ernie McCracken   Kingpin 
13. Lincoln Hawk  Over the Top
14. Doug Dorsey and Kate Moseley Cutting Egde 
15. Ryan Dunne  Summer Catch 
16. Andrew Clark  The Breakfast Club 

 

TUBULAR REGIONAL

Athlete Work of Fiction
1. Scott Howard/Teen Wolf  Teen Wolf  
2. Ricky Vaughn  Major League I and II  
3. Robin Ramzinski The Wrestler 
4. Bobby Boucher  The Waterboy
5. Chuck Norris  Sidekicks
6. Paul Crewe   The Longest Yard  
7. Marla Hooch  A League of Their Own
8. Shark Lavay  Any Given Sunday
9. Kelly Leak Bad News Bears 
10. Roger Dorn  Major League I and II 
11. Stan Ross Mr. 3000
12. Lou Collins    Little Big League  
13. Shooter McGavin  Happy Gilmore 
14. White Goodman  Dodgeball 
15. Mark Cooper  Hanging with Mr. Cooper
16. Michael "Squints" Palledorous The Sandlot 

 

And finally, the fictional athletes that failed to make the field of 64.

Athlete Work of Fiction
Jim Bowers Little Big League
Billy Brubaker Summer Catch
Jack 'Deuce' Cooper Ed
Juwanna Mann Juwanna Mann
Cal Naughton Jr.  Talladega Nights 
David Simms Tin Cup 
Marcus "My Brother's Keeper" Episode of Fresh Prince
Daniel LaRusso  Karate Kid 
Cru Rad 

 

The Jamaican bobsled team has to be acknowledged, but it is far too "non-fictional." I have some rules. 

Now, let's begin to breakdown the last bracket you will ever need—or not. Let's do it either way. 

Follow me on Twitter, because your life may just depend on it. 

Begin Slideshow »
Load More Stories

Follow B/R on Facebook

College Basketball

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.