What Would an NFL-Style Combine Look Like at Your Job?

Josh ZerkleChief Writer IIIMarch 5, 2012

What Would an NFL-Style Combine Look Like at Your Job?

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    Another NFL combine has come and gone. Bodies were measured, runs were timed and questions were asked. Most, presumably, were answered. Some of us enjoyed the league's annual meat market and might have even wondered how the NFL would evaluate your work.

    No, I don't mean the actual work that you do in a given day. I mean your ability to impress the bosses that might give you a once-over as they walk past your desk once or twice in an eight-hour period. You might be a great worker, but do you look like a great worker?

    Let's see how you would fare in these events. I apologize if this list skews white-collar, but hopefully there's something in here for everyone. What would your draft status be? Would you be labeled as a go-get-'em type of employee, even if you were a total slacker? There's only one way to know for sure.

    Tell us in the comments what your favorite event would be, along with any that we forgot to include.

    [Image credits: Slide 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

Looking Busy

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    The Event 

    Appear to be doing office work (while actually not doing any work whatsoever), for as long as possible.


    Most Likely to Succeed

    Workers with lots of papers on their desks, masters of the Alt-Tab keyboard combo, brow furrowers.


    Time Index

    Less than 45 seconds...undrafted.

    From 45 seconds to one minute...late-round pick.

    From one to three minutes...mid-rounder.

    More than three minutes...Find yourself a table in the green room! 

Staying Awake in Meetings

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    The Event

    Sit in a meeting where your company's vice president of "nobody gives a flip" rambles on and on and on. Avoid dozing off without the assistance of coffee or bathroom breaks.


    Most Likely to Succeed

    Guys that can rip out their own leg hair through their trouser pockets, anybody that stopped at Starbucks on their way into work.


    Time Index

    Less than 30 minutes...undrafted.

    From 30 minutes to an hour...late-round pick.

    Between one and two hours...mid-rounder.

    More than three minutes...Answer the phone. That's Under Armour calling with an endorsement deal!

Sneaking into the Office Fridge

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    The Event

    Find and retrieve any food or beverage from the office's community refrigerator. Bonus points if the parcels in questions don't have your name on them.


    Most Likely to Succeed

    People that leave their own lesser snacks in the fridge, cheapskates.


    Loot Index

    Just one can of diet soda...undrafted.

    One bottle of regular soda...late-round pick.

    Any soda plus day-old leftovers...mid-rounder.

    Anything Jimmy Johns...Here comes Roger Goodell, wanting to practice that draft-day handshake!

The Sprint from the Parking Lot at 7:58

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    The Event

    You've just pulled into the worst parking space at your building, all with only two minutes to spare. Now hurry inside to your desk before someone notices you're late!


    Most Likely to Succeed

    Runners, taller people, women in flats.


    Time Index

    Longer than two minutes...undrafted.

    Make it in 90 seconds or less...late-round pick.

    Make it in 60 seconds or less...mid-rounder.

    In 30 seconds or less...Don't look now, but Kim Kardashian just walked into your office!

Avoiding the Guy You Don't Want to Join Your Group for Lunch

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    The Event

    This is a read-and-react exercise. Assemble your work team to go out for a midday meal. Get everyone together...except for that one guy. You know who I mean. 


    Most Likely to Succeed

    The first guy to float the idea for lunch. And if you're not the one, you'd better find out who is before the clock strikes noon and you're the only one still at work.


    Time Index

    Out the door at 12:00 p.m. or later...undrafted.

    Out before 11:50 a.m....late-round pick.

    Out before 11:40...mid-round pick.

    Out before 11:30...You're buying lunch because you just signed for $16 million guaranteed!