Montreal Canadiens: 7 Things You Might Hear Scott Gomez Say

Taylor Shire@@TShireGlobalContributor IIIMarch 5, 2012

Scott Gomez
Scott GomezPaul Bereswill/Getty Images

The Montreal Canadiens can still make the playoffs.


Yes, that's right. But sorry to break the news to you: they won't.

The Habs have been dismal this year. It's no surprise. They are sitting in the basement of the Eastern Conference. As of March 5, they have more road wins than home wins. At 12-15-8, the Canadiens' home record is below .500, and their road record, 13-16-2, is about the same. Is home-ice advantage a myth or old wives' tale?

There are many people who could be responsible for this poor season. Some have said the players are to blame. Some have said the coaches are the culprits. Is the management to blame? They are the ones that brought in these players. Obviously, they didn't know Scott Gomez would be one of the biggest busts in franchise history.

Speaking of Scott Gomez, he was spotted outside the Habs' dressing room this week. If you would have been there, he are seven things you might have heard him say:

1. As Max Pacioretty is taping his stick, Gomez walks up and asks: "Hey Max, what's that thing for?"

2. As Gomez grabs a stick of his own, he looks at it, confused, and asks Pacioretty: "Which way does this thing go?"

3. As he finally realizes which way the stick goes: "Hmm, I'm positive this thing was curved the other way in New Jersey.

4. As Gomez has a calculator in hand: "I'm making how much per goal? $3,750,000? That must be a new record...Hey guys, guess what!?"

5. As he is reading a book titled How to be a Used Car Salesman: "OK, this makes sense. Try to get the most out of them, by giving them the least. I think I can handle this."

6. As Gomez looks over the NHL standings: "Well, I've always wondered what it would be like to play for the Leafs...Now I know."

7. As he is looking at the statistics: "Hey guys, is this plus-minus thing measured like golf scores are measured? Wow, I'm doing great!"

Well, I think that's what he said anyway.


Follow Taylor Shire on Twitter: @TaylorShire