With the NHL trade deadline coming closer and closer, it's time to have some fun with the stress surrounding teams' playoff hopes and the mailing addresses of players all over the league.
So, let's drink!
What follows is 10 simple ways to enjoy the last few days before the trade deadline in style. Make sure you've saved your beer money because we aren't going cheap here.
Bottoms up, hockey fans!
If the Detroit Red Wings use some more of their future cap space on a talented young player, get out a nice bottle of vino and a pad of paper. Take a few notes, and then empty each glass.
If Paul Holmgren trades for another defenseman, or someone comes up with more second-round draft picks to trade, this should be your approach.
Here are the alterations to the traditional beer pong that we're using for The Darren Dreger Drinking Game between now and the deadline.
- With a marker, write the names of current top 10 teams in the Eastern and Western Conferences on the 20 red cups.
- Place the top 10 from the Eastern Conference on one end of the table; place the top 10 from the Western Conference on the other.
- While watching TSN's deadline coverage, play beer pong. When the ball goes into a cup, you have rights to that team.
If Darren Dreger doesn't mention your team, drink the cup.
If Dreger does mention your team, finish three cups.
If Dreger announces a trade during the telecast that involves your team, drain your side of the table.
For the general managers who will be nickle-and-dime specialists before the deadline, here's your test. Take the loose change between the couch cushions that your favorite team's GM won't spend, find a cup and a couple of beers and toss.
We are not advocating sharing libations with any animals.
However, with that being said, the Bob McKenzie Drinking Game has simple rules.
Every day that a trade in the NHL happens, make sure there's no beer left in the fridge.
Somebody somewhere is going to surprise fans by making a bigger deal than anyone thought they had interest in before the news breaks. When that happens, grab something special and find the bottom of the bottle.
While the hat, lack of shirt and "classy" Ashley tattoo are optional, this is your approach every time Los Angeles Kings GM Dean Lombardi makes another deal between now and the deadline.
Jeff Carter and Antoine Vermette are already gone. Now, the eyes of the entire NHL are squarely on Rick Nash and Scott Howson. If you're keeping an eye on what the Columbus Blue Jackets fire sale is doing, this might be a good way to have one heck of a weekend.
If the Toronto Maple Leafs do any of the following, take Bluto's advice:
Brian Burke trades what was, at one point, a "core player" for picks
Burke trades multiple picks for a rental.
Burke shocks the world with a blockbuster.
Burke does nothing.
(NOTE: some lyrics NFSW)
I think this one pretty much sums up the entire hockey world between now and the deadline. Find some good coffee, buy the bottled water and Advil now and get it done, folks.