How To Use Brett Favre

Brett Favre is being blamed by the Jets for ruining their playoff chances, but the problem isn't that the Jets selected Favre (league leading 22 interceptions) over Pennington (NFL Come Back Player of The Year).

The problem (as the Visitors Locker Room has argued) is that they didn't let Favre be Favre-enough. Getting Favre is like getting the Lone Ranger: You don't waste it on small stuff (e.g. a running game).

Here is a list of simple changes that, if made by the Jets, would finally allow them to receive the full Brett Favre experience (list is only a starting point- please feel free to contribute more):

• A golden lab should report as an eligible receiver for each play.
• Favre is allowed to rake leaves when the offense is not on the field.
• Rename entire playbook after national monuments.
• Favre should be allowed to play in blue jeans and a fleece.
• Deputize Favre.
• Light the stadium by pickups. Injured players are carted-out on pickups too.
• Coaches no longer throw red flags to challenge a play. Instead, they release a bald eagle.