Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe To Change Name to Chris Warcraft?

Ocho Cinco’s got nothing on Chris Kluwe. In a recent article in a Minneapolis newspaper, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe joked that because he is more known for his video game skills than for his punting, he should change his name to Chris Warcraft.

Kluwe, a regular guest on the Twin Cities hard rock morning show- 93X’s Half-Assed Morning Show- has fully admitted that he spends more time at his video game console than in the gym. One particular show revealed that Kluwe knows almost nothing about the game of football but almost everything about the game World of Warcraft.

Kluwe, who has quickly proven to be the Vikings’ best all-time punter, as well as being one of the best in the NFL—if you don’t include his game against the Saints—seems to be more inclined to spending a night playing Rock Band than playing a Monday Night Football game.

Before readers get too excited, the name changed probably won’t happen. Though it would be awesome if it did. Kluwe is perhaps on of the most laid-back and unassuming player in the league and is quick to make fun of himself. The idea that he would change his name is more a mockery of the current state of things in professional sports than a serious proposal.

However, what if he did change his name? What kinds of repercussions could arise from Chris Warcraft taking the field:

1- Kluwe jersey sales that currently stand somewhere between 0-10 total would quickly skyrocket in excess of 30 million jerseys sold because a jersey that says Warcraft is f***ing awesome!

2- 10 million virgins/WOW users would turn on football, for the first time since their fathers tried to force them into athletics, just so they could support their grandmaster dork.

3- Other Vikings would follow suit and change their last names into their favorite hobbies (i.e. Pat Williams becomes Pat Old Country Buffet)

4- The league would finally allow punters to be assisted in their tackling attempts by a +10 battle axe.

5- New corporate sponsors: Game Informant Magazine, Mountain Dew, and Clearasil.

While the day will probably never come that Kluwe will actually change his name to Warcraft, true fans can hold onto the realization that there is at least one player in the league that will never shoot himself in the crotch since Nintendo’s Duck Hunter doesn’t require real bullets.

Though, admittedly, the idea of Kluwe walking into a club with a light gun tucked into his waistband might be the coolest thing a punter has ever done.

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