Last-Minute Valentine's Day Step-by-Step Guide for Male NFL Fans

Paul WardContributor IIIFebruary 13, 2012

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - JANUARY 14:  Vernon Davis #85 and Kyle Williams #10 of the San Francisco 49ers celebrates after Davis goes forty nine yards on a pass play for a touchdown against the New Orleans Saints in the first quarter during the Divisional Playoffs at Candlestick Park on January 14, 2012 in San Francisco, California. The 49ers won the game 36-32. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)
Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images

Here's how to make the best of Valentine's Day.  Works best with 'just married' or 'could-be married-if-everything-goes-right-for-five-more-years.'

What you'll need: these videos you made or acquired: the Jan. 14, 2012 49er-Saints game. The Dec. 24, 2011, Giants-Jets game.

These feature films: Friday Night Lights (the movie);  Brian's Song;  Any Given Sunday; Remember The Titans.  

You'll also need food, candles, a card of some kind, any white wine and your favorite beer.

Plan A

Dinner out. Anywhere will do.  Then see below.

Plan B

Early in the day, tell her you're making a candlelight dinner. You don't have to mention that you'll be eating off TV trays in front of the big screen.

Tantalize her with the hint that you're preparing a "delicious meat dish with garnish." Do not mention it's chili dogs with cheese.

Ask her to dress casually but something special. Find a clean shirt and put it on. If you live alone, get your mom to help you. It's OK to wear a tie if you have one. You can remove it later once she sees you MADE THE EFFORT.

Get some flowers wherever you can (maybe your neighbor's yard?).  Pile them in a vase and set it on her tray.

When she arrives, make her feel special right away. Show her all the films and tell her to choose one of the two game films and any two of the feature films. 

Start with special hors d'oeuvres you've made yourself.  Put a carton of dip in a bowl and surround it with chips.

Place a heart-shaped box of candy near the TV tray so she knows what's for dessert and will appreciate THE EFFORT.

Assure her (this is really important) that you will speed through the commercials in the game film because the second half is really the best part.  And if she wants to cry when Vernon Davis cries, that's OK.

If she chooses the Giants-Jets game, tell her about what Tom Coughlin said at halftime and how their season changed and how isn't that like life? You can be as deep here. 

Play Kenny Loggins singing, "This is It."  Explain that was the 49er get-revved-up song played on the bus on the way to their first Super Bowl.  Play it over and over. Show her another side of yourself, the sentimental type.

Tell her that on her birthday, you'll watch ANYTHING SHE WANTS, but she'll really like the film, Diner.