Will TNA Impact—taped in London for the second week in a row—deliver the goods or will they pull a Jericho and blow a golden opportunity? You know who to trust for the answers so let's find out.

Last Week

A decent show last week but for me it fell short of living up to the hype. I am expecting more this week.

Observations from this week's Opening

I think TNA misled some fans "last week" when they announced that Impact "this week" would be a Star Wars "themed" edition. 

I don't really know if some of those fans were actually expecting the wrestlers to dress the part, use light sabers as illegal objects and manipulate The Force to make their opponents submit but I was not expecting much when I noticed that TNA could not even afford to bring their own entrance ramp and pyro to England. 

I think I can speak for my boy Yoda when I say—"Over-hype TNA too much does"

Bully Ray Opens It Hot

Bully comes to the ring—all business—pissed off and looking for Roode for not having his back "last week" in his match against James Storm. Bully is just flat-out-awesome on the mic and he knows how to draw heat—no pencil required.

He does not even wait for Roode to get to the ring- as he leaves the ring to confront him in the aisle. That was cool. Who does that? Bully Ray, that's who.

Bully gets in Roode's face about not having his back continuing to support my assertion that Bully will pin James Storm at Against All Odds to win the Title.

Crowd chants "What?" which is effectively ignored. I loved that because that "What?" crap was kind of cool some eight years ago, only worked for Steve Austin and stopped being cool about seven years ago.

Robert Roode pleads his case. I love the heel vs. heel aspect in wrestling. It's not done nearly enough. Roode pleads his case and tells Bully their problem is not with each other—it's with Sting. Oh crap. Why? Why? Why?

Just like that this segment went into the crapper. Out comes Sting, right on cue to break up what could have been some cool heat between Bully and Roode.

He has a cricket bat. He is already over and did not need the cheap prop to get a cheap pop.

Sting tells them to get on the same page because he is booking them in a match later tonight against James Storm and—Sting. Why? Why? Why? He ends it with that annoying "TA TA for now" thing that he does. Ugh.

Overall Segment: Hit—Love Bully and Roode in their roles and I loved the heat between them until Sting peed all over that fire.

*Just saw Hogan and Garett in the back—Not even Hogan can get this kid over.

Back from Commercial we are treated to a slow motion Valentines vignette featuring Eric Young dressed like Cupid the Barbarian. ODB was there too—wearing some kind of tarp— shaking a bottle of Champagne on Eric before Eric took control over the Champagne and used it like a portable shower.

It reminded me of a preview to a really bad porn movie and one that left me unsure of who the man was—Funny stuff though.

A.J. Styles vs. Christopher Daniels w/Kazarian

A.J. Styles throws some of the best punches and clotheslines in the business.

Daniels is not slouch in that department either.

Daniels is 41-years old and he amazes me. He is one of the most underrated, and under- appreciated wrestlers in the history of the business. If you don't believe me you can start to anytime.

Styles hitting that moonsault into an inverted DDT was sweet and the springboard forearm always looks great. The man is fluid.

Daniels wins it with an illegal object—tossed in by a reluctant Kaz—to the head at the peak of Styles attempting to power bomb Daniels to the mat. Styles fell and Daniels gets the pins.Great spot.

Overall Segment: Hit—these guys have faced each other a thousand times. They don't even need to rehearse. Always stiff with each other, great timing and great action.

They both made me look good for naming both of them in a recent TNA 5 SPOT article (link at the end of this column) in which I named the top five wrestlers with the best offensive arsenal in TNA. I had Daniels fourth and Styles second. 

Kaz continues to play his role well.

* Saw Gunner and Eric Bischoff in the back—and promptly threw-up in my mouth just a little. Eric tells a Gunner he wants him at his side to take out Hogan and Garett in case we either forgot or did not see them attempt that very thing just "last week". Annoying.

Magnus and Samoa Joe

Magnus and Joe hit the ring and are so over it's not funny.

Magnus cuts a pretty good promo talking about how people said the team of Magnus and Joe would not work but they have proven people wrong.

Joe looks as involved and as content as I have ever seen him—I love it.

When Magnus mentioned Matt Morgan and Crimson's names he did so as if someone defecated in his mouth. He said that the only reason they are a team is because they were afraid to face each other. Hmm, do I sense something on the horizon?

Magnus declared that he and Joe would win the titles at Against All Odds and then defend them against—no one because TNA does not have a tag division. Sorry, I was typing out loud there.

Out came Morgan and Crimson to rousing boos from the UK—I mean England according to Magnus—crowd. I found it funny that on the way to the ring both Morgan and Crimson pulled away from fans trying to touch them—just like heels.

England is a magical place. It's in opposite world and it has a time machine. Heels are loved, faces are booed and Sting and Hogan are in some kind of quasi-time warp where they are still massively over.

National Geographic and Nasa should team up to conduct a field study on London. Maybe "Doctor Who" is a true story?

Morgan and Crimson have little to say and attack Magnus and Joe. Joe pulls Magnus from the ring just before he is double teamed and ends the bit with a one-finger salute for good measure.

Overall Segment: Hit— I love fans in England. They react to talent, not status. The cheer Aries, they cheer Magnus and Joe and the boo the likes of Eric Bischoff, Morgan and Crimson. I love smart fans.

I would love for Joe and Magnus to be the faces in this and Morgan and Crimson to be the heels. However, in the States we are trained at birth to cheer the 'baby faces' and "boo" the heels while looking for that good vs.evil confrontation when sometimes good vs. good and evil vs. evil works just as well.

We should all enjoy watching Magnus—a star is being born before our eyes. He is everything Crimson will never be and everything Morgan was supposed to be.

Back from Commercial Taz makes a statement that Christy Hemme is the hottest ring announcer in wrestling. She is hot—I agree—but he apparently never saw Lillian Garcia.

Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries

Nice to see Doug Williams get some exposure. If he had an ounce of charisma he would be a main event player because he has the ring skills to out-wrestle anyone else on the roster.

Alex Shelley is a talented performer but his hair annoys me about as much as his over-selling does.

Speaking of Shelley, his pandering to the crowd after every move is about as annoying as Eric Bischoff's continued ability to breath in and out on a regular basis.

The crowd popped for Williams Chaos Theory on Shelley—I love that move. If he executed it a little better it might have fixed Shelley's hair.

Shelley gets the win on Aries with his well-executed finisher "Sliced Bread"

BTW, in-case you never figured it out, that pin by Shelley on Aries prior to their title match was an indication of what we already know—Aries will retain against Shelley at Against All Odds. That was Shelley's reward for doing the job. It's the old Hogan booking script. The challenger gets a win just in a non-title match just prior to a big match when the champ retains.

Overall Segment: Hit—not a great match by any means but serviceable. It served the purpose of giving the home crowd their native son (Williams) and tried to showcase Shelley as a legit threat to Aries title for the upcoming PPV. Anyone with at least one working brain cell knows that Shelley has but a snowballs chance in hell of defeating Aries for the title.

They needed to make him look good here to keep his "threat" alive for the PPV. Decent action but could have been better given the talent.

* Hogan and Garett are in the back. Hogan is giving him a pep talk when Sting shows up. Hogan asks to speak to Sting alone. They hug, praise each other and basically give Linda Hogan loose grounds to start a new rumor about Hulk and another wrestler—as if that cow needs a reason to spin some lies. I am a Hogan Mark, always have been, but I have my limits—Too much of him tonight.

I did like the bit at the end where Hogan threw out the camera man so he and Sting could talk. Most of the time they act stupid and pretend the camera is there. I found that to be kinda funny in an unintentional way.

*Fans in the stands got a chance to tell us why the love TNA—at least I think that is what they were trying to do. My closed caption even spit out gibberish. Something about a chicken, TNA , a shoe, some knickers and something that sounded like the word "scoggle"? What the 'ef is a Scoggle?

Translator on aisle three, stat!

Back from Commercial we get Gail Kim attacking Tara as both delivered some pretty stiff shots. Kim left Tara lying unconscious on the floor—waiting for me. Hey, a boy can dream. Kim looked like a legit bad-ass.

More Hogan in the same promo from "last week" pumping up TNA. Nice old-school promo from Hogan but even this Hulkamaniac is overdosing.

Hogan and Garett Hit the Ring

Hogan is so over it's not funny. When one questions why he is still around the live crowd reaction presents the answer. As long as he is with TNA—in a limited attraction role—he can only help.

Hogan gave the same speech as last week and he still got cheered. In America, we call that a rerun and likely would change the channel.

Hogan, as over as he is, will never accomplish what they have him assigned to do—put Garett over. Everyone sees this for what it is. A young kid leap-frogging over other talent—that have paid their dues while he has not—simply based on who he knows and who he is unfortunately related to.

Out comes the black hole of wrestling—Eric Bischoff— sucking the life out of everything is as usual— think I saw some 60-people in the front row pass out from oxygen deprivation. He gets in Hogan's face. 

Hogan announces he has the power to create a match and does so for Against All Odds between Gunner and Garret—who attack each other—as Bischoff clips Hogan in the chicklet's

Gunner goes stiff on Garett, Hogan Hulks-up and he and Garett clear the ring

In other words, exactly what we saw 'last week"

Overall Segment: Miss—Despite the fact that Hogan is over and his part in this was okay, we still got both Bischoff's once again. Anytime spent on them is too much time with them. If that is not bad enough we also get news that Garett and Gunner are going to be in a match at the PPV—a place neither of them deserve to be. 

I have not really looked at the entire PPV card yet but I am quite sure I can choose at least six wrestlers that are not one the card and are more deserving than Gunner and Garett.

Back from Commercial Bully Ray and Roode have a moment of contention in the back before their match. Eventually they have a quickie and make up before their match later on. Bully reminds Roode that there are three more days before they meet in a fatal-four-way for Roode's title. I am telling you, Bully is taking that title.

* More Hogan and Garett in the back. Apparently Hogan and Eric will also be at the PPV, each one in the corner of their respective wrestlers. Mike Tenay referred to that announcement as a "Blockbuster" proving he is a tool.

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

I loathe Mickie James so I will try and be fair

Mickey James is so over rated as a wrestler and as a "Knockout". She has the face of a horse. Hey, I said would try, did not say I would try very hard.

Velvet Sky—while not the hottest knockout—is still extremely hot. Who's the hottest knockout? Depends on my mood. Sometimes it's Velvet, sometimes it's Brooke. At times it's Rosita and then of course there is Mae Young. Oh sorry, bad flashback.

Mickey James is getting fat and she dressed like she shopped at yard sale.

Mickie James showing a heel side? I don't need that to hate her but that would be a nice change of pace for her because she is stale as a face.

Velvet wins with a roll up

Overall Segment: Miss—Sorry, even Velvet's entrance is not enough to save this. Poor execution, poor pace and then there was Mickie. 

*Once again the fans in the UK got a chance to talk to the camera. Something about a Pigeon Army and Velvet Sky. Don't they eat Pigeons in England? Two Blond girls tried to say something but I was not drunk enough to understand them. I think it had something to do with a "party" or Katie "Perry".

Can I get an assist from some of my regular readers from England?

Back from Commercial we get a Valentines vignette for Shop TNA with Robbie E. Some much silicone. TNA should really have a Haz-mat sign posted somewhere.

*Nice video package highlighting TNA's UK tour thanking the fans. Nice production.

Another Video Promotion this time featuring Bully Ray, Robert Roode, Jeff Hardy and James Storm.

Each man spoke about their chances at Against All Odds. Bully Ray once again gives me reason to believe my long-standing prediction that he will pin Storm to win the title.

Bully said—"Can you imagine me, Bully Ray, the Heavyweight Champion of the World? It's not even about me and the title, its about me winning and pissing off the entire wrestling world." Yeah—I'm liking his chances.

*Backstage we got Storm and Sting talking about their match. Ho-hum. Anyone notice so far that TNA could not even afford to get Storm Beer tonight?

Main Event: Bully Ray and Robert Roode vs. Sting and James Storm

Bully and Roode are not on the same page— so much for that quickie.

Sting gets proper respect from the crowd chanting "You're a Legend!"

TNA continues their annoying habit of going to commercial within the first two-minutes of the main event every single week on a taped show.

Sting shows a lot of intensity and looks pretty good in limited action.

Bully Ray is so-over as a heel.

Bully Ray walking out on Roode and Taz putting over Bully Ray with a legit shot at winning the title at Against All Odds is starting to make me doubt my theory.

Sting making the Champion Bobby Roode tap out on the Impact before the PPV is the dumbest thing I have seen TNA do in a while. It makes Roode look weak—Ignorant booking.

Overall Segment: Miss—While it told a good story in regards to Bully and Roode going into Against all Odds, TNA effectively killed just about everything else hype-wise for the main event at Against All Odds this Sunday.

Hardy—not being able to travel to England due to his probation and not being promoted on the last few Impacts before the PPV—has zero momentum going into the match. That's a good thing though because having him win would piss off the masses.

Having Sting dominate by making Roode submit not only degraded Roode as the Champ but also screwed Storm—who came across as a second thought in this match after losing to Roode "last week" in a match that should have never happened until these two are given a proper feud.

Storm now has zero momentum to be the man to win the fatal four-way on Sunday. If TNA is serious about giving Storm the title it should come by way of a feud between Storm and Roode that culminates in a one-on-one match and not via a fatal-four-way.

Bully Ray—in walking out—has the momentum now. I will be shocked if I am wrong about Bully Ray winning the title Sunday by pinning Storm only to lose it back to Roode soon thereafter but I have been wrong many, many times in my life before.

Overall Bottom Line this Week

The crowd made both Impacts taped in England look much better than they were. England has awesome, knowledgeable wrestling fans and their passion is evident.

The last two week's from England offered good shows but I feel as though they were not the best they could put out prior to a PPV.

This week was better than last week thanks to Styles and Daniels. Even though I am an admitted, long-time Hogan mark I found there to be too much Hogan on this edition, too much of the Bischoff's and way too much Sting for my taste.

Velvet Sky and Mickie James was way below standard and had no place on an international show in which you want to put your best foot forward in front of a crowd like that.

The Main Event was nothing to brag about and this show was saved by Aries, Williams, Shelley, Styles, Daniels, Magnus and Joe. 

Overall, Impact from the UK—this week and last—while much better than recent Impacts it still fell short of my expectations.

That does not mean it was not a good show, people.

England rocks and that cannot be denied.

Weekly Awards

Star of the Night—Magnus. Anytime someone that does not get much time to cut a promo and ends up looking like they do it every week—and do it well—will always earn praise from me

Match of the Night— Styles vs. Daniels proved why they are two of the best out there. Timing and execution to perfection. Yes, we have seen them a million times but still, they rock.

Promo of the Night— Magnus. We are witnessing the birth of a star.

Dud of the Night—Roode tapping to Sting. Look, I get honoring Sting—in what could be his final appearance as a wrestler in the UK—but there are other ways in which that could have been accomplished without making the Champ tap three days before he defends his title at the PPV— Not cool.

Based on their performance I want to see more of— Magnus, Aries, Styles, Daniels, Doug Williams and Bully Ray

Based on their performance I want to see less of—Mickie James, Eric Bischoff, Gunner and Garett

25 Things learned watching this Impact

1. Based on two-weeks taping Impact from London in front of those amazing fans next week's Impact is going to feel like it was taped at a flea-market.

2. Bully Ray can work a crowd like few others.

3. On the next tour I hope TNA provides translators so I can understand what the fans in London are trying to say.

4. I wonder how many fans are pissed when TNA's  Star Wars "themed" Impact ended up being an endless shill for the Phantom Menace in 3-D. Not what you thought, was it?

5. Did Sting really think he needed a cricket bat to get over with the crowd?

6. I would fly to London and then fly back home a few moments later staying only long enough to watch Velvet enter the ring in person. If you are a man and her entrance does nothing for you seek medical help immediately.

7. You can like Hogan or you can hate Hogan but the man deserves respect for still being over like that after such a long career.

8. Same thing can be said about Sting.

9. Anyone catch Hogan giving Garett the old "NWO" point? If you did you would have also noticed Garett trying to return it and he could not even do that right. It's a freakin'  point how can anyone screw that up?

10. Watching Joe fail to utter a single word in that promo was funny. TNA might as well had him wear a sign that read—"I'm Samoa Joe. I am going to kill you but I suck at cutting a promo so Magnus is gonna talk." 

11. Styles and Daniels continue to prove the following—they can still go, they should be used more, are vastly undervalued by TNA and vastly underrated in the industry.

12. It would have made more sense—while in England— to have Aries walk out on the match and let Williams pin Shelley to give Williams the nod in his home country.

13: Shelley annoys me with his over selling and pandering to the crowd after every move. I cannot wait for Sabin to return so Shelley can return to tag wrestling where he belongs.

14: Congrats to Samoa Joe and Magnus who should win the titles on Sunday. Sure they have no one to defend them against as the division is dead but let's not let reality spoil what will be a fun moment.

15: You have to love Doug Williams "Chaos Theory" even though tonight's version was not as well executed as usual.

16: Anyone else think that Shelley was going to injure Aries while he pumped the crap out of his leg during the pin. I was like "HAMSTRING!, HAMSTRING!"

17: Seriously, why does anyone like Mickie James? Her offense is weak, she sucks on the mic and I really cannot see anyone thinking she is hot. Put the bong down, clear your head and join the rest of us in reality.

18: Is it me or does James Storm seem irrelevant these days?

19: I don't see anyone on the radar anytime soon that will dethrone Aries, do you?

20: Alex Shelley is best described as an athletic nerd—not that there is anything wrong with that.

21:I see two titles changes at the upcoming PPV—Tags and Heavy.

22: As if Eric Young needs alcohol.

23: Hogan, try as he may and try as he might, looks like a tired, spent man. He has my respect though.

24: Did anyone else see how stiff Gunner was with Garett?

25: Shocked TNA did not bring Flair—He is massively over in England.

That's all for this week my friends!

Missed Last Week's Review  (What's Wrong With You)? Check It out: TNA IMPACT REVIEW  For February 2, 2012

Check out my other columns in the TNA 5 Spot Series

TNA 5 Spot: Five Angles I want to see in TNA this year

TNA 5 Spot: Top Five Wrestlers with the Best Offensive Arsenal in TNA Right Now

TNA 5 Spot: Top 5 Finishers in TNA Right Now

TNA 5 Spot: 5 Things TNA Can Do to Compete with WWE

TNA 5 Spot: Top 5 Underutilized Wrestlers on the TNA Roster Right Now

TNA 5 Spot: Top 5 Mic Skills in TNA Right Now

How's Roode Going to Lose His Title? Read "Bobby Roode to lose his title? Who, When, Where, Why, How?

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