Super Bowl 46 Prediction: Eli Last "Man"ning Standing in Indianapolis

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Super Bowl 46 Prediction: Eli Last
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

NY Giants vs. New England (-3)

Super Bowl XLVI pits the Giants against the Patriots in a rematch of Super Bowl XLII ,in which Eli Manning and the "G-Men" stunned Tom Brady and the then-undefeated Patriots 17-14.

This time, Brady faces Eli Manning’s team on Peyton Manning’s turf, Indianapolis’ Lucas Oil Stadium, home of the finest luxury suite attendants in the NFL, the “Personal Lubricants.”

Paul Revere made the biggest announcement in Patriots history when he rode his horse through the streets shouting, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

That is, until Billy Cundiff mounted a goat and traveled the streets of Indy yelling, ‘The Patriots are coming! The Patriots are coming!’"

Cundiff is an albatross on a team of Ravens. He hooked that fateful kick so bad it ended up in New Hampshire.

But this Super Bowl isn’t about errant kickers.

It’s about Brady and Eli.

Eli’s one-upped Brady.

That’s something Peyton can’t say.

Sure, Peyton is sport’s greatest pitchman. He stars in commercials like Brady does in Super Bowls.

Peyton didn’t monopolize all the football talent among his siblings, just the personality.

Eli may have bested Brady in Super Bowl 42, but this time, Brady plans to have the last laugh.

How can he be so sure?

Because he’s employing the ‘Ben Roethlisberger Method Of Self-Affirmation:’ Brady’s locking myself in a bathroom, looking in the mirror, and repeating to himself, "I will not be denied. I will not be denied."

If history is any indication, Brady can’t lose.    

The Giants stormed through the playoffs, knocking off the No. 1-seeded Packers before eliminating the No. 2-seeded 49ers 20-17 in overtime to win the NFC Championship . 

Elsa/Getty Images

There’s only one team left that can beat the Giants.

It’s not the Patriots.

It’s the Giants.

How do I know? They’ve done it seven times already this year.

With a win, Manning will have two Super Bowl wins, both over Brady and the Patriots.

Who says Manning’s not in a class with Brady, besides everyone but Manning?

Most people say the only way Manning can be in the same class with Brady is if Brady’s teaching it.

Manning can dispel that notion by winning on Sunday.

Or by marrying a supermodel on Monday.

Surprisingly, Brady and Manning are afterthoughts to the real quarterback news around the league.

No, I’m not talking about Peyton’s future as a Colt.

It’s Tim Tebow. Tebow is still in the news. It appears that Kim Kardashian wants a relationship with the Denver quarterback. Amazingly, they have much in common.

Tebow is saving himself for marriage.

Kardashian saved herself from marriage.   

Super Bowl festivities begin when Kelly Clarkson belts out a rousing and moving rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” that renders an appreciative crowd hopeful and optimistic.

That is, hopeful and optimistic that Jimi Hendrix is not dead, and the NFL will sign a contract with him to perform the anthem on his guitar in all future Super Bowls.

Sufficiently fired up, the Giants win the coin toss and defer, giving the Patriots the ball first with the intent of unleashing their front four on Brady. Everyone knows the key to the Giants' success is pressuring Brady with four rushers, thus dropping seven defenders in coverage, which should be plenty to blanket the underneath routes for which the Pats are famous.   

But New England has a counter, and that’s the deep ball, and Brady connects with Aaron Hernandez for a long gain that sets up a Stephen Gostkowski field goal. It’s 3-0 Patriots.  

Nick Laham/Getty Images

The "G-Men" come back with a solid drive of their own. Manning hooks up with Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks, as two receivers from the wrong side of the tracks find themselves on the right side of midfield. A shovel pass to Ahmad Bradshaw gives the Giants a 7-3 lead.

It’s nip and tuck until halftime, and the Giants take a 17-13 lead into the break.

The Giants take the second-half kickoff and cash in with a Lawrence Tynes field goal. The teams trade field goals, and with time dwindling in the fourth quarter, Brady engineers a 75-yard touchdown drive that ties the game at 23 with a 13-yard pass to Rob Gronkowski.  

Unfortunately, New England leaves Manning and the Giants just enough time to maneuver into field-goal range, buoyed by Manning’s 11-yard scramble on third and long. Tynes drills the 29-yard kick for the win.

New York wins 26-23.

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