Super Bowl Sunday is here to bring you the best in gluttony, debauchery and, as it seems, ridiculously marvelous prop bets. Let the degenerate gambler in all of you breathe a little.
Amidst the bags of Doritos, buckets of beer and copious amounts of alcohol that will be consumed, a great many of you will be looking for new and inventive ways to spice up the Super Bowl, as if gambling on Madonna entertaining us for 10 minutes during the halftime show wasn't enough.
Some of you will do Super Bowl squares and plunk down anywhere from $1 to $100. Some may dupe a fellow football fanatic to bet you on the coin flip.
Then there are those gambling nerds that get their wager rocks off on prop bets. You can pretty much gamble on anything.
According to Bovada.lv, that includes whether Kelly Clarkson's belly will show during the national anthem, whether Madonna will wear fishnet stockings or what color will the dumped Gatorade be.
With that, we delve seriously into the realm of absurd, and into a subject you never thought would matter as much as it will. Here is the real spit on what is more likely to be greater: LeBron James' point total or Manning's completions.
On Sunday, the Miami Heat take on the Toronto Raptors at home, a team that gives up 92.9 points per game, good for 12th in the Association.
James is averaging 29.5 points per game and has scored 32, 31 and 35 points respectively in the last three games.
Eli Manning is coming off a fantastic season is which he had a completion rate of 61 percent. It's important to take into account the current form Manning is in and forget the 22.4 completions he averaged per contest this season. Some games just demanded a lot fewer throws and more of a running game.
In the playoffs, Manning has ripped off 23, 21 and 32 completions per game respectively. Manning is a guarantee for 20 or more completions on any team, and will threaten for 30 or more against an awful Patriots secondary.
So we are looking at a perfectly placed prop bet of James getting about 30 to 34 points and Manning completing anywhere from 25 to 32 passes.
My money is on James, who doesn't have nearly the amount of pressure to get his usual output than Manning, but the choice is yours.
James has been a lock for nearly 30 points a game, and you can't say the same about Manning going into every single contest.
If this bet scares you, bet with Kelly Clarkson showing some tummy; that may be the safest bet of the day.