The land of the free and the home of the... uh... beautiful?
What the United States of America lacks in competent politicians and altruistic businessmen, it certainly makes up for in sexy athletes.
Zealous, fearless and lethal on camera, these seductive superstars continue to surprise even there most pessimistic viewers.
Let's take a look at the 50 steamiest American athletes currently lighting up the sports scene.
Patriotism at its sexiest.
She may resemble a bulked-up version of The Office star, Rashida Jones, but Lolo Jones is a bit more vicious than her hilarious counterpart.
While America is quite proud of Jones for being the record holder in the 60-meter hurdles with a time of 7.72, it's her friendliness away from the track that has us foaming at the mouth.
We have yet to witness an athlete attack patriotism with the same aggressiveness that Logan Tom just did.
Considering she was named "Best Scorer" at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, this volleyball star can certainly run the country.
She's got our vote.
She may be attracting the spotlight for eating Subway sandwiches and being beautiful, but Russian-born gymnast Nastia Liukin has plenty more to offer.
Her nine World Championship medals put her in a tie for second (behind none other than Alicia Sacramone), and her seductive nature gives us a reason to pay attention.
Something about this patriotic goalkeeper keeps us engaged, always checking in.
Whether it's her iconic name, exotic eyes or confidence on camera, we can't possibly avoid Hope Solo's seductive approach.
Climbing on the table during a match isn't routinely allowed, but clearly exceptions can be made.
Billiard beauty Jennifer Barretta has worked enough pockets to justify such seductive actions.
While USOC's sportswoman of the year for 2010 is certainly decorated on the slopes, it's her beauty that has fans recklessly drooling.
Despite 49 World Cup wins, we can see that Lindsey Vonn is just as lethal standing still as she is flying down a mountain.
She's the most dominant female baller with two feet on the ground; her husband is a mediocre backup for the New Jersey Nets.
Candace Parker and Shelden Williams have combined love and basketball to form perhaps the most distinguished balling couple in sports.
The question is whether their offspring will be the next Magic Johnson or another Von Wafer.
One can only imagine the names that halfpipe snowboarder Hannah Teter was called as a misunderstood youth... pumpkin-eater seems to rhyme quite nicely.
However, after winning a gold medal at the 2006 Winter Olympic Games, Teter had more than the last laugh.
Ah patriotism... red, white and blue chauvinism at its best.
It's no accident that track and field specialist Amy Acuff is surrounded by the vibrant colors that headline the United States of America.
It may be a bit of a surprise, however, that she's no longer dominating the national spotlight.
As she calmly looks into the distance, Missy Gibson begins to retrace her long road to prosperity.
A surfer by trade, Gibson seems determined to shine a bright spotlight on her dark and ominous nature.
Relentless and fearless is the beautiful Gabrielle Reece.
While the volleyball star has been on the cover of Playboy and Life, it's her staunch support of the 50 states that has fans stimulated.
Some may believe that Danica Patrick wouldn't garner a double-take if she weren't the most decorated female racer ever, but we beg to differ.
Not only has she single-handedly kept GoDaddy.com afloat, but she has added a bit of spicy flavor to the sometimes-mundane world of NASCAR.
And for that we are very appreciative.
Halfpipe specialist Clair Bidez has a relationship with her board that few others do.
While her accolades are slightly limited, Bidez's plethora of accomplishments on camera are due to a oneness she has built with her equipment.
Call it a zen-like state.
107 career wins may cement Misty May-Treanor's name in volleyball lore, but it's her less-talented husband who completes her resume.
Every great athlete needs a mediocre sidekick, and with a .225 career batting average, catcher Matt Treanor certainly fits the bill.
With a whopping 48 medals in major international competition, three-time American Swimmer of the Year Natalie Coughlin should probably begin concentrating solely on her aesthetics.
She has an untapped feel for the camera that needs attention. It's clear from her subtle sensuality that Coughlin is already dreaming of a sexy future.
Don't be fooled by her raunchy approach, WWE phenomenon Ashley Massaro is quite the delicate flower when it comes to looking good.
While she seems perfect for what appears to be the center of Times Square, Massaro deserves a more exclusive stage.
She may not be related to former offensive lineman Kyle Turley, but Taira Turley certainly displays a similar fervor.
An all-fantasy linebacker and center for the Miami Caliente, Turley is a force to be reckoned with on whichever side of the ball she decides to grace.
She's clearly just as prolific away from the gridiron.
Her name may imply a slobbering farmer type, but seven-time Olympic medalist Amanda Beard never displays anything but feminine beauty every time she meets a camera.
We wouldn't be surprised to find out years from now that Beard was actually a fembot yearning for some attention, baby, yeah!
Oh groovy, baby.
While 10 World Championship medals is certainly a unique achievement, it's artistic gymnast Alicia Sacramone's beauty that will carry her to the top.
You can bet she appeared in ESPN's "Body Issue," undoubtedly making backup-quarterback boyfriend Brady Quinn quite stressed.
After becoming the youngest female to finish the Hawaii Ironman, triathlete extraordinaire Lokelani McMichael seemed destined to master the art of the photo shoot.
Amid her search for a perfectly-electrifying piece of material, the exotic McMichael has provided fans with endless beauty.
There's nothing sexier than a woman who can dominate the slopes, and trust us, halfpipe snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler can certainly hold her own.
Her confident stare insinuates an affinity for kicking it with the bros and an ability to eliminate stress from any situation.
We'd love to sip on some hot chocolate while watching the X Games with her.
Even more amazing than her beauty has been Julia Mancuso's ability to simultaneously win three Olympic medals (most ever for a female American alpine skier) and master her modeling ability.
Ironically, Mancuso's sexiest shot may be this unplanned Kodak moment rather than any seductive past experiment.
A three-time WNBA champion and four-time All-Star, Swin Cash seems to have the keen instinct that is essential to athletic success.
With a calm confidence that reeks of experience, Cash is earning her dollar one shot at a time.
If fans need another reason why Sandra Gal isn't the sexiest golfer, her name is Carling Coffing.
She's quickly making a name for herself and not with her 9-iron or wedge.
She may have been born in Canada, but with a dual-citizenship, sexy ice-dancer Tanith Belbin is certainly revered in the States.
And the nation couldn't be happier, considering their prized beauty has become a three-time Four Continents champion and five-time U.S. champion since she began skating in America.
Now it's time she shares her voluptuous talents with the rest of the world.
The golfing world has seen an influx of beautiful athletes approach their courses since the arrival of Natalie Gulbis.
Few women were daring enough to aggressively grace the green before Gulbis came along.
18 holes have never been this sexy.
Racing beauties may be rare, but they are certainly worth the wait.
With a dominant name (Hood by marriage) that demands respect and a subtle sexiness that reeks of potential, Ashley Force Hood is essentially forcing fans to pay attention.
The one track and field athlete who easily helps us forget Marion Jones, sprinter Allyson Felix, is quickly rising on the charts of the sports world with her subtle beauty and remarkable leg muscles.
Sure, she's the only woman ever to be a three-time Athletics World Championship gold medalist for the 200-meter sprint, but it's Felix's sensual smile that has us tempted to pay attention.
No amount of pads can hide Tae Kwon Do star Charlotte Craig's natural beauty.
She may not be a household name in the sports world just yet, but with her mysterious aura, it's only a matter of time before fans begin holding up "Marry me C.C." signs in the stands.
As the first WTA tennis player to pose nude for Playboy, Ashley Harkleroad is a pioneer in the sports world, a legendary beauty who sparked a movement.
Her fans are certainly moving to the beat of her drum.
A legend in the MMA world, Gina Carano is now taking her immense talents to other fields.
With only one loss in her mixed martial arts career, Carano must have figured the odds were on her side.
She may be making headlines with her role in Haywire, but Carano continues to entertain sports fans worldwide with her perfectly-sculpted curves.
With a devilish smile and fearless stare, 2006 U.S. Champion figure skater Sasha Cohen continues to take the sports world by surprise.
She was most daring when she published her own autobiography, perfectly called Fire on Ice.
Cohen is even more steamy off the ice.
Her name may sound hilarious, but Lacy Schnoor's ability to excite the crowd certainly isn't a joke.
With an obvious tolerance for the cold that demands attention, this sexy freestyle skier continues to surprise us on the slopes...
Although not exactly with her athleticism.
Not to be messed with, Mexican-American boxer Mia St. John is not only the former WIBA and WIBF Lightweight champion but she is a stout business woman and Tae Kwon Do champion.
And you can believe she's graced the cover of Playboy, even receiving an isolated pictorial to give fans a chance to understand her unique beauty.
While certainly not delicate, St. John's femininity can't be argued.
There's nothing quite like waking up to a refreshing pair of twins who have an affinity for wrestling.
Unable to be stopped, one can only hope to contain the sexy tag team featuring Brie and Nikki Bella.
Something about this sexy WWE veteran keeps us coming back.
Perhaps it's the combination of melancholy expressions and stellar dress codes displayed in every photo shoot.
She can't fake natural beauty.
As if her patriotic values weren't already apparent, speed skater Allison Baver made a national statement when she skated into the heart of NBA star Dwight Howard, if only for one night.
One star down, 49 to go.
She may be quietly disappearing from the spotlight, but pole vaulter Allison Stokke hasn't escaped our eager minds just yet.
After pioneering the way for future Internet sensations to be cornered by paparazzi with every slight step, Stokke seemed determined to fade back into normalcy.
She's almost there.
While we wish she had chosen softball with a name like Heather Mitts, this soccer star demands attention on any field of play.
Married to journeyman quarterback A.J. Feeley, it's questionable whether she or her husband deserve the WAG title.
We'll assume Feeley is the supportive wife in this relationship.
Have fun guessing which twin this is...
Unlike the retired half of the gridiron Barber twins, these two sprinters seem determined to remain role models and icons in the sports world.
Don't be fooled by Mikele's (darn, now you know) calm smile, however, these stars will thoroughly destroy any opponent on the race track.
We may never see Anastasia Ashley rip waves, but we still appreciate her influence on the sports world.
Her surfing prowess is insignificant with poses like this, although we'd love to see the two talents merge.
All opponents beware, MMA star Miesha Tate attracts with a sexy ignorance and attacks with a stellar imperiousness that has led to a 12-2 record.
The current Strikeforce Women's Bantamweight champion and Freestyle Cage Fighting Women's Bantamweight champion, Tate is just as intimidating away from the ring as she is within it.
It's only natural that if we switch volleyball star Kim Glass' first and last initials, we're presented with an odd, yet artistic, spelling of "gym class."
Considering she tried out for America's Next Top Model five times during her college days, it's safe to say Glass has dealt with plenty of adversity.
The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue took notice and invited her to appear in their memorable 2011 edition.
The youngest and sexiest footballer on the national team, Alex Morgan continues to naturally attract the spotlight with just a subtle smile and stellar footwork.
There always seems to be a ray of light surrounding this soccer star, if not a throng of stimulated cameras.
Sure she was the first woman ever to pull a rodeo 720, but freestyle skier Kristi Leskinen has taken over the sports scene with a seduction that can't be ignored.
Calm and confident, Leskinen continues to reign supreme over her peers in beauty and bravado.
While her sex appeal took a serious hit after she was caught in a picture with Donald Trump, golfing model Blair O'Neal has already dented her beauty in the minds of worldwide sports fans.
Now that she's fully-mastered her aesthetics, O'Neal can finally work on her drive.
With her short-lived acting appearances, wrestling stunts and breathtaking photo shoots, Stacy Keibler has permanently cemented her name in the hearts of sports fans across the world.
We can't possibly forget her uniquely long legs and seductive poses.
Perhaps the most exotic beauty on this list, Michelle Waterson attacks the modeling scene with an unparalleled aggressiveness that we must admire.
With a black belt in American Free Style Karate and an ability to excite any crowd, "The Karate Hottie" continues to inch closer to immortality in the mixed martial arts world.
Perhaps the brightest star in a tranquil surfing world, Alana Blanchard continues to demand just as much attention for her beauty as she does for her athleticism.
The perfect combination of sexiness and skills... she can't possibly lose.
Model first, surfer second, Malia Jones is a melting pot of beauty.
With a mix of Hawaiian, Spanish-Filipino, German and English roots, it's safe to say Jones is quite well-rounded.
She has yet to be matched in any facet of the game.