Prince of Thieves

Fantasy GuidelineContributor IIIJanuary 25, 2012

Okay, enough on trying to sell me on the nostalgia factor of Prince going to play for the same team that his father Cecil did. Prince doesn’t even like his dad, but what I’m sure he does like is a team that is willing to massively overpay him.

Prince Fielder will be twenty-eight years old in May and is listed at 5’11 275 lbs. Now if you’re like me, you know that most listings for weight on are on the low-end of what that person really weighs. So for him to be listed at 275, I’m thinking he’s around 290 or more.

So I’m wondering what kind of trans-fat filled vegetables has he been eating by the barrelful? Now I’m no physician, but that sounds like a lot of weight for a professional athlete under six feet tall who just signed a nine-year deal.

Because the Tigers don’t already have a fat enough first baseman in Miguel Cabrera right? He’s basically a designated hitter playing first base. But to his credit, he doesn’t totally suck defensively anymore. I mean at least he’s better on the field than the ironically named…Prince Fielder.

I know I’m ranting here, but I do have a point. My point is that Prince Fielder cannot field and watching him run the bases is comparable to seeing a woman pregnant with triplets sprinting to the hospital, with a beard. It’s not something anyone should every have to see.

The Tigers also have another nice hitter who is not a particularly good defensive player, Victor Martinez. He has already been mostly a designated hitter and catching on occasion during Alex Avila’s off-days. Alex Avila has played well for the Tigers thus far, but guess what? He now has knee tendonitis. So I have serious doubts about the twenty-five year-old Avila’s ability to be anyone’s lead catcher three or four years from now.

So what does that mean? It means the Tigers are on the verge of having four players who can only play first base and designated hitter. Is that really the scenario they wanted when they decided to be the next team to get monetarily raped by Scott Boras and fork over $214 million over the next nine years?

Prince Fielder hit thirty-eight home runs last season while calling one of the best hitting parks in baseball his home at Miller Park in Milwaukee. He hit three home runs in the second to last game of the season, so he only had thirty-five at the 160 game mark of season. Now he will be calling one of the best pitchers parks in baseball his new home at Comerica Park in Detroit. I believe there is an excellent chance that he does not exceed thirty-five home runs while playing his home games at Comerica Park.

If he doesn’t hit over thirty-five home runs, how can his new contract be justified? I know a lot of people think that Albert Pujols was hugely overpaid, and I won’t argue that. But at least Pujols stays in great shape, runs the bases well, plays gold glove quality first base, and has a lifetime average forty-six points higher than Prince with every bit as much power.

Prince, God bless you man. If I can’t love you, well at least the Tigers sure do. Yes you’re very fat, but you’re banking harder than I ever will. So there’s always that to fall on. Anything else you would fall on is likely to see its final moment of breathing. – Like the Detroit Tigers payroll and overall lineup inflexibility. Detroit, the government is not going to bail you out of this one. But I’m sure you guys will win the AL Central anyways. I mean, how could you not win that division?