Evan Bourne is out.
Kofi is going solo again.
No titles change hands.
Beth Phoenix is never seen.
Drew McIntyre is fired.
Hornswoggle is ridiculous.
Michael Cole is a pain.
Booker T, Josh Mathews and Jerry Lawler with Matt Striker as interviewer. Lillian Garcia as ring announcer.
10-Woman Diva Rumble: Tamina def. Eve, Kharma, AJ, Layla El, Natalya, Kaitlyn, Brie Bella, Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox
As I described in another article, I think there should be a Diva Rumble match. In brief, the 10 entrants compete for a total of 10 minutes, entering every 60 seconds. Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox begin the match, there is some Bella nonsense, Natalya takes over, Layla is the first big surprise and then AJ returns from her injury.
Kharma then comes out and wrecks house, but Tamina, Eve, and AJ manage to eliminate her, with AJ actually putting her over the rope. Tamina then takes over from there.
John Cena vs. Kane: Double Count-Out
In this match, Cena comes out to face Kane. However, after the bell rings, Cena slides under the bottom rope and out of the ring, staring at Kane. He shakes his head, pulling some sort of Ghandi routine.
He won't give into the hate; this match offers him nothing. He throws up his hands and begins to walk up the ramp. As the ref counts eight, Kane exits the ring and chases after Cena. They're both counted out but have a huge brawl backstage that gets out of camera range as we go to break.
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry for the World Heavyweight Title: Big Show pins Mark Henry
This match goes on much as you would expect. Henry goes after Bryan at first, crushing him. Big Show takes the fight to Henry, and the two trade pinning attempts for a while, as Bryan stays out of their way, only re-entering to break up pins.
Henry is down for the count, and Bryan mixes it up with Show for a while, locking him in a couple submission maneuvers, the last of which is broken by a crawling Henry. The match continues, and Show and Bryan trade pinning and submission opportunities on Henry.
Suddenly, Kharma and AJ spill out onto the ramp. Kharma is destroying AJ for eliminating her and taking her title shot after she'd eliminated half the field. Bryan moves to the ropes, looks back at Show, who is pinning Henry, then commits to going to his girlfriend's aid.
Show wins, then hurries out after Bryan to check on AJ. Kharma leaves, and Bryan gives him a slightly less-severe tongue thrashing for being selfish and greedy. He leads AJ to the back, and Show rubs his head, unsure how to feel.
CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Title with Special Guest Referee John Laurinaitis, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, Interim and Soon to be Permanent General Manager of RAW (I had to do it): Dolph Ziggler pins CM Punk
CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler put on a clinic, and Mr. Excitement, Johnny Ace tries multiple times to cheat Punk, with quick counts and slow counts, but for the most part it doesn't make a difference. Ziggler does a great job at keeping up with Punk, but Johnny ignores Ziggler tapping to the Anaconda Vice, and pulls his leg under the rope, telling Punk to break the hold.
Punk grabs Johnny, but Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag, and in a quick count which Punk gets the shoulder up (shades of Punk/Swagger), Johnny counts three and has them ring the bell. Punk chases Laurinaitis out of the ring, and Ziggler celebrates like there's no tomorrow. Swagger and Vickie Guerrero come out, of course, but Ziggler gives them a bit of the cold shoulder, looking and acting a lot like Jericho when he wakes up or gets a muffin, celebrating with the crowd and ignoring his stable.