Comparing Kobe Bryant and Other NBA Stars to Expensive Cars
Writers tend to go in many directions when trying to describe an NBA player, but one of the most often used comparisons is to cars.
A player might have a terrific motor or might shift to another gear when driving into the lane; the possibilities are endless.
These fine-tuned athletes have more often been compared to cars in more recent years, as they are getting bigger, faster, stronger and going above and beyond our wildest expectations.
We all know that if these guys were on a car lot, they would be some of the most expensive wheels in the land. So, which cars out there, exactly, are these superstar NBA players?
Deron Williams: 2009 Chevy Corvette ZR1
One of the few times in the past dozen or so years that Chevy put out a jaw-droppingly attractive and powerful Corvette, the 2009 ZR1 reminds us all what good American car companies can do even amidst the hectic economy surrounding them.
This is one of the most powerful cars Corvette has rolled out at 638 horsepower, giving it a quick jump off the line and a zip to the finish. The ZR1 is unique while still being recognizable as the Corvette that has been around for decades.
It gives off an aura of power while still having that down-home American feel, kind of like watching Deron Williams break down his defender like the new-school point guards, while still having the presence of mind to look for the pass first, like the old-school fellows.
Amar'e Stoudemire: Land Rover Discovery 4 Armoured
In a land of cars getting bigger and bigger while continuing to get better and better gas mileage, the Land Rover Discovery continues to impress even in it's fourth installment.
The luxury SUV has the class and comfort any Land Rover has, but it's also got the power to haul that huge frame around all day and do it with a quick lurch forward initially and great ability to hold speed.
Amar'e Stoudemire is quite a bit like a luxury SUV with his ability to both shoot the ball and barrel into the lane and throw down a ferocious dunk.
Derrick Rose: 1955 Mercedes-Benz 300SL
The mid-1950s 300SL displayed the classic good looks of a European coup while showing off a special bit of flair with the interesting look of the gull-wing doors.
With the fine workmanship of any German car and the look and style of a mid-50s Mercedes, the 300SL offered just a bit more than the classic look. The gull-wing doors made it instantly memorable and made it stand out from any other coup at the time, and ever for that matter.
Just as Derrick Rose is one of the most interesting combinations of an uber-athletic point guard with great leadership and superstar qualities. He was memorable from day one and obviously special even before then.
Carmelo Anthony: 1960 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud II
One of the ultimate luxury cars of the past century, Rolls Royce went over the top with beauty and class with its 1960 Silver Cloud II.
There are obviously very few cars out there that exude the same amount of class as a Rolls; even just looking at one is giving me a long, drawn-out, snobby accent.
Put up head-to-head with any other car throughout history, this Silver Cloud would hold its own based on looks alone, but it packs a powerful punch to move that enormous metal frame.
For some reason, I equate the luxury of the car with Carmelo Anthony's ability to score the ball, and the fact that he can do it in so many different ways makes him that much more luxurious.
Dwyane Wade: 2012 Bentley Continental Supersports Convertible
Combining power, speed and elegance, the Bentley Continental Supersports showcases a unique look while still giving off the aura of a luxurious automobile.
It's got the power of a sports car and the superior luxury that you would expect to get with a Bentley, which reminds me of Dwyane Wade.
Wade is a guy who has a motor just like every other great player in the league, but he also has a little bit of an extra quality, a bit of class that many NBA players don't have these days.
LeBron James: 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4
Never have we seen a car with so much power, so much speed, so much guttural pleasure packed into such a sexy package, and never have we seen a player quite like LeBron James.
Both LeBron and the car are mysterious creations with all the outward beauty of a model riding a dolphin into the sunset.
But still, there's something missing, some personality, or possibly something to make it truly beautiful.
Tim Duncan: 1961 Lincoln Continental
The early Lincoln Continentals gave off the dull look of a short American luxury car, but at the same time exuded class to an extent that the President at the time was driven around in one.
Not only is it an old reliable, faithful automobile, but it's also useful, powerful and iconic.
Tim Duncan and the car have similar qualities of dull superiority with long frames and the ability to just get the job done.
Dirk Nowitzki: 2012 BMW X6 M
The German luxury SUV that is full of power and style, the BMW X6 M is near the tippy-top when it comes to luxury SUVs.
The X6 M is not just something to get the kids to soccer practice; it's an SUV that screams with power every time it's revved up with its 555 horsepower tearing you to and fro.
Dirk Nowitzki, the luxury German wearing a Mavericks uniform, has the ability to be aesthetically pleasing with his drives to the basket or his silky-smooth three-pointers, but he can also get down and dirty with his off-balance jumper and his newfound gritty play.
Blake Griffin: Hennessee VelociRaptor 800
This mutant offspring of the F150 SVT Raptor shows just how out-of-control a car company can get when trying to create its latest car.
This thing is an abomination against everything that makes sense in the world, but at the same time, it's just so breathtakingly badass.
It doesn't have an intimidating personality, but once it gets its 6.2 liter V-8 whirring, you had better get out of the way, because this is one bad mother that doesn't care about who's in its way.
It barrels around the road like Blake Griffin barrels through the lane, and its power is only mirrored by that of big Blake.
Dwight Howard: 2012 Mercedes-Benz GL
One of the most powerful and slick looking luxury SUVs on the market, the Mercedes-Benz GL packs a punch and looks good while doing it.
While Dwight Howard is an extremely powerful and freakishly athletic man, he is also a smooth defender and a great player with an interesting personality.
Oh, and if we want to give Dwight yet another Shaq-related nickname, this particular Benz is a fuel-efficient Blutech diesel.
In fact, I think I kind of like Biodiesel as a nickname for Dwight. It's powerful and has the same cool sound as Shaq-Diesel did, but like Biodiesel, Dwight doesn't grab you and dominate you like the smell of a cloud of burnt diesel fuel like Shaq once did.
Monta Ellis: 1970 Datsun 240Z
The 1970 Datsun 240Z was truly something. It was looked at as a cheap knockoff of the European luxury coups that were being pumped out, but it was really a cheap alternative that could really give the Euro-Coups a run for their money.
At a time when owning a Japanese car was still an odd and questionable thing to do, Datsun came out with one of the first cars that Americans gobbled up like frogs sucking down flies. It was a bit strange looking, but that's the way that cars were going in those days.
It looks a bit like a stretched-out Porsche coup of the late '60s, and it runs like one as well; it just didn't have the name to stick onto the front like Porsche.
I would say that Monta Ellis is a cheaper, yet still effective version of the upper level of NBA shooting guards like Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade.
Kevin Durant: 1966 Ford GT 40
The first Ford GT40s were a statement made by American car companies more than anything else. It was called the "Ferrari Killer" because of its four straight wins at the 24 Hours of Le Mans.
In a world of supercars that are all made overseas and have the look of things out of the future, the early American supercar gave the U.S. hope that it could compete with the international supercar market.
Never mind that the industry is barren when it comes to supercars these days and is miles behind its Euro counterparts, this car brought hope that some good still existed in the world, which is the image Kevin Durant exudes as a superstar in today's NBA.
Russell Westbrook: 1976 Porsche 930
The '70s Porsche coups, especially the 1976 Porsche 930, had a new-school flare while still throwing back to the era that came before them.
I like the fire in the belly that Russell Westbrook has. No matter what anyone says, there is a bit of a power struggle between him and Kevin Durant, although I don't think it's as serious as it's being played up.
However, Westbrook's old-school mentality of wanting to be the guy to make the game-winning play is what makes him so desirable.
Like this '76 930, Westbrook has the cool new look that Porsche took into the latter part of the 20th century with the big spoiler on the back and the elevated head lights, but it still had the form and the function of the older '60s models.
Kobe Bryant: 1964 Porsche 911
One of the original super-fast yet super-stylish old-school coups out there, and probably one of the most famous, is the 1964 Porsche 911 that turned heads the minute it came stateside.
This lightning-quick 911 was the first of its kind and is now one of the most rare and expensive cars milling about, as fewer than 50 still exist.
It's expensive. It's classy. It's the beginning of an era of cars, and most of all, it's iconic and legendary.
If you are one of those Twitterers, you can follow me @JDorsey33.