Joakim Noah's Photos: Top Pictures of Chicago Bulls Center

Classic photo
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Joakim Noah is not an attractive man. He is an amazing basketball player and is immensely more talented than I am. Noah is one of the best young centers in the NBA, oh and he also makes millions more than I do (currently five years for $60 million).

With that being said, I feel it is alright for me to do what so many have wanted to do and view the ugliest pictures of Noah around. At seven feet tall he seems like an easy target and I'm sure that he may struggle with his image. None the less here goes, from his afro-like crazy hair to his humongous feet and gap in his teeth.

Note to Joakim Noah: Joakim (speaking directly to him), if you read this, do not take it to heart. I'm sure you are a great guy. I hope you do not hate me after this article and if you do we should just sit down for coffee or lunch or something and I'll apologize.

Without further ado...

Bad Timing for Noah

This is just bad luck for Joakim Noah.

He was probably unsuspecting a photograph in the middle of an interview...If only next time he just will remember not to blink. Gotta watch out for that Joakim, blinking may make things look, well, worse than they already do.

Again, bad luck.

Just Look at That Hair

Grrr...Angry Joakim Noah.

In this picture, Noah honestly looks like the world's tallest and ugliest girl. His hair almost looks like it has been straightened and then left out in the rain. He looks a little bit like a mix of Rapunzel and a Neanderthal. Again, sorry Joakim.

Let's not forget that great snarl and perfectly kept facial hair. 

Woah, Hey There Joakim

Kinda scares you when you first look at it.

At least his facial hair looks much better than last time, sorta. And that gap looks pretty normal actually.

Wow imagine that man just sitting on your porch or resting in your hammock. I would run and feel absolutely terrified. His expression looks like he is happy to see you, similar to a five-year-old with a new puppy, yet it also looks like someone who wants to eat you. It is a thin line to cross. And I think he crossed it. 

That expression just gets me. Isn't he supposed to be relaxing in a hammock, not looking like he is currently being electrocuted?

Scary.

Again with the Facial Expression. This Time Relaxed?

I have such a hard time even processing this photo.

What is on his head? How is it keeping down his hair? Why is he leaned up against bamboo? Why is he wearing two sets of glasses? Why does it look like there is no glass in the first pair of glasses?

Joakim Noah looks a little more relaxed in this picture, but even that might be in question. And that hair just keeps getting me. So long and curly. Both the mustache and beard are very dirty. 

What is he doing with his lip? It makes me uncomfortable.

And again, what is on his head???

Pajamas or a Dress?

Wow

Is that a dress he has on?

His hospital attire looks like it could spontaneously burst into flames. Quite simply, what is that?

Maybe Joakim Noah is just ahead of the fashion trends. I think he is just an ugly guy. This picture just about sums things up. Crazy look, crazy dude.

A dress or a jump suit, I simply do not know.

Once again Joakim, I am sure you are a tremendous man. I hope you don't take any of my foul commentary to heart. Keep on doing you.