25 MMA Hotties to Look out for in 2012
According to the ancient Mayan civilization, 2012 is the year that the earth and all of its inhabitants explodes into nothingness.
The Mayans also experimented frequently with cocaine (yes they did have cocaine back in ancient times) and smoked a lot of buffalo feces so I wouldn’t weigh their prediction too heavily.
They were correct in one sense, however, because there will be an explosion.
Not necessarily the explosion that will bring the earth to its demise but an explosion of extremely beautiful MMA ladies nonetheless.
If you thought my piece on the 25 sexiest MMA girls of 2011 was bad ass, you haven’t seen a damn thing yet kids.
So sit back, pop out a bottle of your favorite moisturizing cream (you know, for your face, the cold weather surely is making your face ashy) and take a look at the top 25 hotties in the MMA industry that you should be looking out for in 2012.
25. Jessica Penne (Professional Fighter)
Jessica Penne is one of the best strikers in her division and that is partly due to the fact that she has absolutely stunning legs.
I tell you what, as weird as this may sound, I wouldn’t mind having my head kicked off by one of Penne’s left Thai kicks.
Sure, I would lose my head and die a slow painful death but for a brief second I would be aroused and that… that, ladies and gents, makes it a worthwhile experience.
24. Maggie Krol (MMA Reporter/Model)
To hell with Snookie, to hell with J-Woww, to hell with Paulina D and to hell with Michelle “The Situation” Sarangina because Maggie Krol is the hottest thing to pop out of New Jersey and if you disagree with that then you clearly lack testosterone.
Krol contributes to MMADieHards.com as an interviewer and is currently directing her own video production company known as Krol Multi Media.
Do you want to roll with Krol? Of course you do!
23. Tracy Lee (MMA Photographer)
Technically, Tracy Lee is already fairly well-known in the MMA industry but you should still look out for her because she has fantastic pancakes.
She really does. They are so round, succulent and taste great when drenched in maple syrup and butter.
She still owes me an all you can eat pancake buffet so the next time you see her at an MMA event be sure to remind her that Mitch Ciccarelli is still hungry and won’t settle for an I-Hop.
Joking aside, this girl is seriously one of the best photographers in the sport. Be sure to check out her work at Yahoo Sports and Combat Lifestyle.
22. Chandler Jade (Freelance Reporter/MMA Enthusiast)
Whenever I hear the name Chandler, usually, I think of Chandler Bing from the hit series ‘Friends’ and what it would be like to eat some of Courtney Cox’s lasagna.
However, now that I have been introduced to Ms. Jade, I now find myself fantasizing about flying on giant balloons when I hear her name. I’m not sure why…. Hmmm, it’s quite a mystery.
Anyway, Jade is a freelance reporter and, much like the rest of us, is absolutely addicted to MMA. We will definitely see more of her in 2012, that’s for damn straight.
21. Lauren Cullen (MMA Writer)
If you follow my illustrious facebook account, you’d know that Lauren Cullen and I have been in an affair for quite some time.
What can I say? I have a weakness for brunettes with big… smiles. You know, the smile is truly what stands out the most when you first glance at a woman.
Ok, that was a blatant lie but on a serious note Cullen is a sexy MMA analyst that is getting back into the writing game in 2012.
She came to me for advice one day and I told her that the best way to prevent writers block is to write in the nude.
You guys can thank me now or later.
20. Katelyn Ansari (BAMMA USA Ring Girl)
BAMMA should stand for beautiful amazing magnificent mammacitas association, with babes like Ansari walking the cage in between rounds.
This brunette bombshell is going to take over the whole freaking world in 2012 with her mesmerizing eyes and incredible figure.
19. Tee Tremblay (MMA Model)
What a lucky pair of hands. Oh come on, I can’t be the only one thinking that?
Tee Tremblay was ranked in my 25 Sexiest MMA Girls of 2011 piece but she’s so nice I figured I’d rank her twice.
Hell, I’d rank her 1,000 times if it meant I could get a piece of her homemade pumpkin pie and a glass of milk. She claims that she isn’t much of a cook but clearly she is lying.
Tremblay has a lot coming up this year and you’ll see what I mean very soon. Her stock is rising faster than Justin Bieber on prom night with Selena Gomez and the seven dwarfs.
18. Nicole Craner (MMA Ring Girl)
A former Strikeforce and Shark Fights Ring Girl, Nicole Craner took a step away from the MMA world in 2011 but is anxious to get back in the groove of things this year.
She might not be as popular as the Arianny Celeste’s of the world but Craner is undeniably one of the sexiest ring girls of all time.
If you were to create a pound-for-pound list on ring girls of the past and present, she would make the top 10 of that list for sure.
I want to see this girl as a guest UFC Octagon girl in 2012 and I know I am not alone. If you also want to see this happen, help me blow up Dana White’s Twitter so we can make this fantasy a reality.
17. Pamela Jean Noble (MMA Model)
Listen, any sexy blonde with the name Pamela is an instant superstar as far as I’m concerned.
In fact, Tommy Lee tried hooking up with Ms. Noble a few months ago but I smashed his guitar over his head and kicked him so hard in his rear-end that the entire Motley Crue band winced in pain.
She’s mine, Tommy…. They’re all mine. I’m one rock star you absolutely don’t want to upset, son.
16. Zoe James (BAMMA UK Ring Girl)
British women are some of the most underrated beauties in the entire world and Zoe James is living proof.
This BAMMA ring girl is unbelievable. Just simply unbelievable and yet she is relatively unknown to a vast majority of the MMA community.
Well, that’s certainly going to change in 2012.
15. Jessica Leigh (Playboy Model)
Much like Tee Tremblay, Ms. Leigh was also ranked in my 25 Sexiest MMA Girls of 2011 piece but is also a smoking hot babe that the MMA fans need to keep their eyes on this year.
This former Playmate and I are going to create magical things in the MMA world in the coming months.
With my magic wand at her disposal, Jessica Leigh is unstoppable.
I’m quite the sorcerer, you know. I went to Hogwarts and made Harry Potter look like a pathetic fairy that even Peter Pan wouldn’t hire.
14. Erica Goitia (Owner of UpperCut Models)
Erica Goitia is the type of girl where, even though she has a fantastic body and beautiful face, her brain is what you’re most attracted to.
If there was such a thing as brain intercourse, I would very much enjoy engaging in it with her. She is super creative and is running a business at just the young age of 24, that’s impressive.
Uppercut Models and Goitia are set to have a phenomenal year. Believe that.
13. Iris Garcia (MMA Reporter/Model)
Looking back, I really wish I included Iris Garcia in my 25 Sexiest MMA Girls of 2011 piece. I don’t know what I was thinking leaving her off of that illustrious list but it was most definitely a mistake.
Garcia interviews many fighters in the local California area and is aspiring to become a superstar in the MMA media world. She has a great sense of humor and, obviously, a delicious body.
Check out some of her interviews via her YouTube page.
12. Joanne Spracklen (Founder of MMAGirls.net)
Several years ago, before I became the Mac daddy of B/R MMA that you all know and love today, I watched a video on the internet of a beautiful blonde giving her predictions on an upcoming UFC PPV.
That girl was Joanne Spracklen and I remember being incredibly impressed with her fight-knowledge and how accurate her predictions turned out.
I thought to myself, ‘could this blonde hottie possess some sort of psychic abilities’. Certainly anything is possible but super-powers or not I instantly found myself crushing on the MMA Girls founder.
Years later and she’s still kicking ass and taking names. 2012 might be the biggest year yet for both Spracklen and her website.
11. Stacey Hannant (BAMMA UK Ring Girl)
Like I said before, British women are incredibly hot and BAMMA has quickly become home to some of the sexiest ring girls in the entire sport.
I might not be from the U.K but I’d buy a first-class ticket to London in a heart-beat and cover a live BAMMA event just for the opportunity to work my charm on this 19-year old goddess known as Stacey Hannant.
10. Jessica Dawn (MiddleEasy.com Model)
I have to give Middle Easy their props. First they bring Cat Von C, one of the sexiest non-models in the world on their staff and then Jessica Dawn. Clearly someone over there has great taste.
I bet Zeus was the mastermind behind that call… or maybe it was Hercules? Or, perhaps it was Ares? Oh it doesn’t matter who the brains of that decision was because all that matters is that Jessica Dawn is part of the Middle Easy family and she’s hotter than a fresh plate of coconut shrimp.
9. Shelby Gast (MMA Model)
I’m a sucker for pretty eyes and originally I wasn’t going to rank Shelby Gast this high on the countdown but those eyes have some kind of special powers.
At 20 years of age, Gast is a diamond in the rough when it comes to MMA hotties. Arianny Celeste might be the most well-known ring girl in today’s world but years from now Gast might take that spot.
Modeling out of Houston, Texas, Gast is aspiring to become a ring girl this year. Personally, any MMA organization that wouldn’t give her a chance is absolutely out of their minds.
She’s beautiful and she loves the sport with a passion just like I love those eyes with a passion. See what I just did there?
8. Shannon Lee Marr (MMA Ring Girl)
This brunette babe had enough moxie to sign UFC heavyweight Pat Barry’s whitey tighties in front of a large group of people at a UFC Fan Expo a few months back so that right there should tell you that she’s destined to become a superstar.
Now all she has to do is sign my leopard thong and she will become ring girl of the year for 2012. Hey Shannon, just remember there’s three C’s in Ciccarelli.
7. Brooke Lynette (Cage Warriors Ring Girl/Fighter)
London’s Brooke Lynette is both the head ring girl for Cage Warriors and a fighter that was just victorious in her first boxing fight. If a sexier combination exists please let me know now, otherwise Lynette is well on her way to legendary sexy status.
She was quoted as being a “Chael Sonnen admirer”. Little does she know that Mr. Sonnen urinates himself in the middle of the night having nightmares of yours truly stomping him to hell.
6. Alizee DiPaola (Tuff N' Uff Ring Girl)
It’s like I said in my last sexy slideshow, I like my women like I like my fries—French, crispy and covered in salt.
When Stephanie Ann Cook gets hired by the UFC in 2012 (oh, it’s going to happen), DiPaola will become Tuff N’ Uff’s premier ring girl and then eventually she will join Ms. Cook in the largest MMA promotion in the world.
Arianny and Chandella cannot hold their positions forever. DiPaola is a girl that could take their spots in the future, without a doubt.
5. Jordan Nicole Gaza (Amateaur MMA Fighter)
Yesterday there was Gina Carano, today there is Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey but tomorrow there will be a new face of Women’s MMA and her name is Jordan Nicole Gaza.
Believe it or not, Gaza is a former high school cheerleader that has quickly become one of the best amateur fighters out there.
At just 19 years of age, this sexy ninja is destined to become one of the best female fighters of all time in the coming future.
Don’t you dare insert a “that’s what she said joke” after that last sentence either.
4. Ashley Salazar (MMA Fighter/Ring Girl)
If you were wondering who that busty brunette was that graced the cover of this article, I will now reveal her identity as Ashley Salazar.
A Strikeforce ring girl, MMA fighter, model and radio show host, Salazar can do it all and do it big.
She’s also a United States Air Force veteran. Call me biased but if you don’t think she belongs on this list you clearly lack testosterone.
3. Laney Marie (MMA Model)
I know that I’m technically already married to Bellator ring girl Mercedes Terrell—by the way we are expecting twins, we will name one child “law” and the other “order”—but I think I’m falling for Laney Marie.
Like I said, I’m a sucker for pretty eyes and we are both loud mouths so it would be a match made in heaven.
The only question is, do I break it off with Mercedes and pop the question to Laney or do I just break the law and marry them both? Yeah, I think I’m going to go with choice B.
Laney Marie was voted as Babes of MMA’s Babe of the Month for January and was the December winner of the Knockout Athletics Strong is Beautiful MMA Model Contest.
I think I will take her to Chilis for our honeymoon dinner. Yeah, Chilis is awesome.
2. Jennifer Swift (Ms. TapouT/Pro Elite Ring Girl)
For those of you who read my infamous piece on the 25 Sexiest MMA Girls of 2011, you witnessed a massive error on my part.
You see, I ranked Jennifer Swift as the sixth hottest chick of last year but the truth is, she should have been much higher.
I’m not just saying this because Swift angrily threatened to drop me like a bad habit if I didn’t correct the mistake either. In fact, I think she’s even sexier when she’s angry but that’s beside the point.
Swift is all over the place these days, kicking ass and looking hot in all 50 states. It’s only a matter of time before you see Ms. TapouT on UFC programming.
1. Stephanie Ann Cook (Tuff N' Uff Ring Girl)
There is something seriously wrong with you if you don’t want to see Stephanie Ann Cook in the UFC in 2012.
First of all, you’re probably the type of person who double dips your spoon into a jar of peanut butter and then lets your dog lick the spoon the third time before you put it back in your mouth. You people disgust me.
Normal people want to see this blonde bombshell hired by the UFC ASAP and something tells me that Dana White is listening.
2012 is the year of Stephanie Ann Cook.