15 Unintimidating Mascots Least Likely to Steal Your Girlfriend

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15 Unintimidating Mascots Least Likely to Steal Your Girlfriend
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

The college season has come to a close with Alabama mopping up LSU to win the BCS National Championship. The game was more lopsided than a see-saw with Justin Bieber on one end and Clay Matthews on the other.

LSU was not the formidable foe as predicted on the field, but what about off the field?

Represented by a ferocious tiger, it seems pretty safe to say that this beast would come out victorious over the gentle and gregarious pachyderm that represents Alabama. would it not?

According to Answers.com, it has been noted that elephants often pick up tigers with their trunks then throw them down on the ground, sometimes killing them. It is rare a tiger will attack an elephant.

I stand corrected. Case closed right? Not quite. Alabama’s mascot couldn’t even pick up a tiger hairball with its floppy, dilapidated trunk.

So why do schools opt for a goofy, non-menacing representation of their school? Is it lack of savage creativity, or just simply a mascot seamstress that is too nice for her own good?

A mascot should scream school pride, pump up the crowd and strike electrifying fear in the opponent. How is an elephant supposed to get the crowd rocking with a trunk that looks like a flaccid male body part? 

We've also all been there before—you go up to get the sweetie a popcorn, only to come back to some muscle-bound, brazen Aztec, Lion, Bulldog or Warrior mascot getting acquainted with her.

Consider your relationship safe with the mascots found on this list.

Some of them you may have seen before. Some you may have regrettably seen when you accidentally opened a door that should have been locked at your Uncle’s house when you were eight.  

Consider the disclaimer applied.

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