Everyone gets more attention when they're in a relationship. There are countless lists of "Sexy WAGs," or the "Hottest Couples in Sports," which is fine...but they are all off the market. Well, presumably off the market, at least for the time being.
It seems like lists of smokin' hot singles on the prowl would have a much wider audience or interested parties. Which is why I've put together this list of 25 singles, and imagined what they might say in a fictional personal ad.
To clarify, all personal ads within this list are totally fictional; these people are all far too hot to actually do something like this.
Here are 25 of the Hottest Singles in Sports.
Goalie Looking to Score
I'm a SWF, very athletic, bordering on butch. Outside of soccer, my hobbies include dancing with the stars, taking it off for ESPN: The Magazine and pouting when I lose.
I'm looking for an equally poor sport to whine with me when things don't go my way.
Bacall Looking for Bogie, not Bogey
I'm a beautiful blonde SWF who knows her way around a golf course. I'm considered a "sex symbol" in the golf world. You might recognize me from my 2004 cover of FHM or my appearance in 2007's Tiger Woods PGA Tour by EA Sports.
I'm looking for a guy who wants to play more than just a round! I'm hot, successful and 29 years old. I want a guy who is ready to think about talking about the possibility of settling down.
Must not be jealous if I crush you on the links; even if I let YOU use the women's tee.
Part-time Cheerleader, Full-time Daddy's Girl
I'm a SWF, a perky daddy's girl who spends most weekends cheering on Tom Brady and Wes Welker.
I'm looking for a guy who is kind of like my dad. An athlete and an underdog: a super nice guy with big dreams and an even bigger heart.
Looks aren't that important, I've been desensitized to handsomeness by being within spitting distance of dreamboat Tommy Terrific every Sunday.
Godly Quarterback Seeks Goddess
I'm a SWM who nobody believed could be a quarterback. Who nobody believed would get a scholarship to a Division 1 school. Who nobody believed would win a national championship. Who nobody believed would get drafted in the first round…you feel me :)
I'm looking for a wholesome girl-next-door type who has not yet known the touch of a man. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to be the special girl I take to ice cream socials, Bible study, and potentially the Rapture.
Lookin' For a Celtics Fan...or an Actual Celtic
I'm a busty, recently separated Latina who is looking forward to a big payday. I've got kids and a high profile soon-to-be-ex-husband who I've been with since I was 17. I'm ready to sow my wild oats.
I'm looking for a guy who won't be intimidated by my ex and who recognizes a good thing when he's got it. No cheaters. No liars. No poor guys. Definitely NO. POOR. GUYS. Bling is a lifestyle.
California Surfer Girls Lookin' for Some Boys
We're a couple of single, beautiful California blondes who model to pay the bills, but devote our lives to surfing. We're into bikinis, boards, the beach, the waves and just living the good life.
We're looking for a couple of beach bums who still manage to pay the bills. No weirdos. No pervs. An nobody who says "And TWINS!" constantly.
If the Winklevoss twins happen to read this, friend us on Facebook. If you're allowed.
Ball Buster Looking for Balls to Bust
I'm a SWF, and kind of #gangsterblonde on ESPN. Certainly a lot more gangster than a certain other blonde on the network. I like to have a good time, travel, ride bulls, bust balls and down shots.
I'm looking for a guy who wants to keep it casual. No marriage, no kids and no complications. I like a guy who is into sports, preferably a manly man who can hold his alcohol and hold his own in a bar fight.
I know this really narrows down the list of guys.
Black Mamba On the Hunt
I'm a recently separated superstar. I'm the kind of person who knows he's a superstar and keep a list of everyone who doesn't think I'm a superstar...so I can stick it to them at any and every opportunity.
I'm looking for a girl who knows I'm a superstar. She should be super hot, lots of fun, very understanding and seriously forgiving. If things get serious, she must be willing to sign a prenup, because I ain't goin' down that road again.
Oh, and if you give me the ball, I'm gonna shoot it. Every damn time.
Ski Bunny Seeks Yeti
I'm a recently divorced broad, who just happens to be one of most accomplished skiers of all time. Think you can hang?
I'm looking for a guy, preferably a member of the Tebow family, who is into sports. He should be attractive, wholesome and very, very boring.
If you're afraid to ride the lift to the black diamond slope, please look elsewhere for a bunny slope partner.
Big Booty Seeks Big Bank Balance
I'm a recently divorced amateur porn star who is ready to settle down, but just can't find the right guy. I'm internationally known for my beauty and my vapid, painfully grating family; we're a packaged deal.
I'm looking for a guy who knows what a woman like me wants. He should be a professional athlete, very rich, comfortable being filmed 24 hours a day (even in the bathroom) and willing to let me wear the big stretchy pants in the relationship: the only ones I can stuff my butt into.
Taping our sexual exploits is a possibility as long as we split the profits. Not 50-50, because my certain assets entitle me to more like 70-30.
BTW. This relationship will expire in 3..2..1...
Sweep Me Off My Feet…Figuratively
I'm a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader who can take a hit like a champ. When I'm not getting laid out by tight ends, I'm into dancing, traveling, bikinis, puppies, supporting the troops and cowboy boots.
I'm looking for a guy who can sweep me off my feet, without knocking me on my butt. An adorable Cowboys fan who's got an unbreakable addiction to Chapstick and enjoys romantic walks to the fridge.
Must be okay with incessant meddling from Jerry Jones. He just wants you to win this relationship.
Swedish Model in Search of a Lion, not a Tiger.
I'm a DWF who has rid herself of the toxic men in her life…well, man. I'm also very rich...like the kind of rich that allows me to buy $12 million mansions and tear them down for fun, and then rebuild the same mansion in its place.
No cheats. No liars. No golfers. No guys who spend their weekends in strip clubs or in their basement watching porn. Just looking for a nice, honest, trustworthy man to help me flush my ex-husband's money down the toilet.
Poker Goddess ISO "The Nuts"
I'm a SWF with a lot of vices. I'm a professional poker player and have been known to smoke cigars, play guitar and swill Jack Daniels straight from the bottle.
I'm looking for a guy with a lot of vices. Preferably one who plays poker, smokes cigars, plays the drums and swills Jack Daniels straight from the bottle.
This describes the kind of guy who must be super hot. You know, like Scotty Nguyen.
Southern Gentleman Looking for a Carolina Girl
I'm a SWM who has been making a name for myself on the PGA tour. In 2010, I was ranked No. 7 in the world: the third highest ranked American behind Steve Stricker and Phil Mickelson. Not bad, right?
I'm looking for a Southern girl that I can take home to Mom. She should be beautiful (obviously), polite, sexy-not-slutty, and be able to suffer through endless weekends on the golf course with a smile…even if she hates golf.
I need someone who can hold me and tell me everything will be okay after I blow a lead on the final round of U.S. Open.
Bellator Bombshell ISO Brawny Boyfriend
I'm a SWF who isn't shy about taking it all off...and why should I be?
More importantly, I'm a do-gooder philanthropist who is determined to use my fame and fortune for good. Think a bustier, less weird Angelina Jolie.
I'm looking for my Brad Pitt. No pressure. And stop responding to my ad, Skeet Ulrich!
Sexy Quarterback ISO her Michael Oher (this one is weird, I know)
I'm a SWF with a name you might recognize. My dad is the former Super Bowl-winning quarterback of the Washington Redskins, and I'm following in his gridiron footsteps.
I'm looking for a guy who can hang with a family of stellar athletes, and who won't embarrass me during our Thanksgiving day football game.
If my Dad asks you who is the best player in Tecmo Super Bowl, you have to say Mark Rypien and never..ever..Bo Jackson. Cam Newton is single, right?
LFL Player Ready to Tackle a Relationship
I'm a sexy blonde model who spends most weekends tackling football-loving women in their underwear. Jealous?
I'm looking for a guy who isn't easily intimidated, attractive and well off financially...but not a sugar daddy. Ew.
Actress, Model, MMA fighter ISO Jack of all Trades
I'm a former MMA fighter who has turned her sights to an acting career.
I'm looking for a guy who won't be intimidated by my fierceness and isn't afraid of a strong independent woman.
Also a big plus is if you're turned on by octagons. And bruises. On your own body.
Falcons Cheerleader ISO her very own Matty Ice
I'm a sassy blonde pom-pom shaker who is more than meets the eye. Let's skip the flowers and kittens...instead, let's hit up Gander Mountain and take my dogs on a hike.
I'm looking for a man's man, but who still takes care of himself: something between Ted Nugent and Cristiano Ronaldo. Oh, and my pet python (Monte) says he must love snakes.
Italian Beauty Trying to Replace George Clooney
I am one of the most desired SWF's on the planet, what else does anyone need to know?
Well, generally I tend to date internationally known footballers with lots of money and internationally known movie stars with lots of money.
Nobody wants to take a step down though, so I'm looking for someone better than George Clooney. He exists right?
If you can check off "Got hammered drinking Limoncello with Danny DeVito" that's a good start.
Soccer Player Ready to Move Forward
I'm a recently single soccer star with All-American, girl-next-door good looks. The kind of good looks that drive men en masse to Facebook to propose marriage.
I'm looking for a guy who isn't obsessed with me...so if you've proposed marriage to me on Facebook, you're automatically out. Other than that, he should be cute, into sports, successful, driven and love to travel.
Couple of Wide Receivers Looking for a Couple of Catches
We're the hottest receiving tandem in the NFL...in more ways than one. We're young, we're hot, we're rich and we're basically the envy of every married old veteran in the league.
Looking for some super hot broads who know how to have a good time. Like a girl next door, gone bad, type with stripper good looks, but with slightly less questionable character. And not an actual stripper--do we look like DeSean Jackson?
Meaning: We aren't looking for any baby mama drama...yet.
Former Miss Paraguay seeks a Mister
I'm a recently single, superfly woman with some serious flavor. I'm a javelin thrower, currently training for my second Olympic games...and my successful career as an international fashion model pays the bills in the mean time.
I'm looking for a guy who is not easily intimidated. He should be athletic, handsome, confident and preferably Spanish speaking; the use of English in Paraguay is very limited.
Any references to throwing your javelin is an automatic disqualification.
Unlikely Tomboy Seeks Sports Buff
I'm a leggy SWF who is serious about sports. I'm a Gator at heart and college football is my passion. I'm also an accomplished dancer, fitness model, journalist…and one of the most desired women on the planet.
I'm looking for a guy who is into sports, but not necessarily a professional athlete. Someone stable, fun, kind and who recognizes that I'm serious about sports journalism...not about being a sex symbol.
I want a man who doesn't get serious by drilling a peephole in my dressing room.
Octagon Girl Looking for Love
I'm a stunning SWF looking for my first; that is not a typo, I'm a virgin. I'm into cage fights, bikinis, Bud Light Lime and I'm a fitness junkie.
I'm looking for a man worthy of getting with all this. My ideal man is fit, fun, financially successful and confident enough to think he deserves me, but not so confident he thinks he can't lose me.
Sadly, I know I probably had you at "virgin."