Michael Cole is one topic everyone can agree on: we hate his guts. He's got a stupid haircut and his mother dresses him funny. From burying talent on commentary and shoveling cringe-worthy vignettes down our throats (for literally years now) to cutting a promo on Jerry Lawler's recently deceased mother before WrestleMania last year, there isn't a single heat-seeker on the roster who gets the kind of reaction Cole does—but there is a close second. Her name is Vicki Guerrero and I'm imagining a horrific Dystopian future where the two become more than "just friends."
Here's how it happens:
Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger are still Vickie's only clients. After months of separation, Dolph and Vickie renew their romantic entanglement, creating a love triangle with Swagger who also (not-so-secretly) longs for Vickie's affections. Both suitors are angered when Vickie gains two new clients, nasty beasts named Brodus Clay and Tyler Reks (breathing fire post-Funky Fossils).
While Vickie's Family continues in-fighting, Cole gets more aggressive on commentary, reviving levels of ill will present last February and March. So far, these events are unconnected but business is picking up.
Eventually, the conflict between Ziggler and Swagger erupts, forcing Vickie to proclaim that she doesn't love either of them... She loves Michael Cole! Clay and Reks destroy Ziggler and Swagger on Vickie and Cole's orders (because Cole doesn't like competition) and the Cole-Guerrero Coalition is formed. The next week there's a sickeningly sweet segment where they sign papers to form an LLC, played out like a marriage, to seal the deal.
Vickie to Cole: "I'd love to show you what's in my Cole Mine."
Ziggler and Swagger, now faces and wondering how they could've been so foolish, team up to dismantle the Coalition and months of angles ensue. Everyone involved is elevated thanks to Cole and Guerrero's colossal combined heat (and some meaningful matches), and the alliance is finally ended when Vickie discovers that Cole is cheating on her with another woman—whom Ziggler and Swagger hired. Everyone's free to go their separate ways (or continue sub-plots as Creative sees fit).