Whisenhunt Prepares Lienart To Run In To Replace Warner In Case Of Rapture

Ken Whisenhunt is preparing to start Matt Leinart for Kurt Warner.

"I saw a History Channel special on the world ending in 2012, " said the coach of the Arizona Cardinals.  "That means that rapture thing is soon.  We gotta be prepared for Warner to disappear without a trace."

Kurt Warner says he told him the world is not ending in 2012.  "Just because some pagan Mayans came up with Dec. 12, 2012 as the last day doesn't mean anything.  Heck, I know they are wrong.  The rapture is supposed to occur seven years prior.  God did not take me home in 2005."

Matt Leinart claims he is confused why the coach assumes he is a sinner.  "Sure, why date Paris Hilton unless you have sex outside of marriage.  I understand the whole fornication is a sin thing.  However, whatever happened to forgiveness for sins?  This whole assuming i'll be around post-rapture is flawed."

Kurt Warner claims he is not the only born again Christian on the field who might unexpectedly disappear mid-game.

"If, say, Anquan Boldin disappears, it is not as big a deal as losing a QB," said Whisenhunt.  "That is why we will continue drills where Matt runs out on the field and moves the empty uniform out of the way to take the snap.  I don't want to burn a timeout for just the rapture."

This is satire.  I made up the quotes.

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