5 NFL Players Likely to Release the Next Bad Rap Album

By (Featured Columnist) on January 5, 2012

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Rob Carr/Getty Images

I don't know about you, but I need some more crossover stardom in my life. The Chicago Bears released the Super Bowl Shuffle in 1985, but since then we, as NFL fans, have been starved. 

Shaquille O'Neal released Shaq Diesel in in 1993 and the forward formerly known as Ron Artest released My World in 2006. Where are the NFL players' terribly awesome albums?

These five stars are set to keep our feet still and have our heads shaking with their new rap albums.  

James Harrison

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Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

An excerpt from James Harrison's first and only song: "#$@% Goodell."

I hit quarterbacks real hard, and I get fined. #$@% Goodell.

I hit running backs real hard, and I get fined.  #$@% Goodell.

I'm just trying to do my job, and I get fined.  #$@% Goodell. 

I just got fined for this rap, ain't that some crap.  #$@% Goodell. 

You get the idea. 

Greg Olsen

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Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

Bolstered by Carolina Panthers' teammate Cam Newton's pre-draft claim that he "wants to be an icon," tight end Greg Olsen starts to think, "Why not me?"

Re-capturing his University of Miami glory days (skip to 6:00 minutes in the video to hear "G-Reg's verse), Olsen attempts his first album. He asks Newton for a cameo in a single called "Candy Cam." Newton declines, which would later be referred to as the greatest decision of his life.  

LeSean McCoy

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Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

LeSean McCoy will follow his breakout season with an ill-advised venture into the rap game. With an attempt to prove to Eminem that he is not the only "Shady" in town, McCoy's album will sell to three people: himself, his mother and his girlfriend. 

His single, "The Real McCoy," will prove to be a real McDud. 

Victor Cruz

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Nick Laham/Getty Images

Victor Cruz' single, "Cruz'n By You" will garner a few thousand YouTube hits by loyal New York Giants' fans, but that is the closest this breakout wideout will get to crossover stardom. 

Cruz, who exploded for over 1,500 yards and nine touchdowns, should stick to doing what he does best: busting defenders ankles, not rhymes. 

Terrell Suggs

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Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Welcome everybody to the 443,

Who's my alma mater? Ball So Hard University,

In case you don't know me, this is your man, sizzle to the T.

Just an excerpt from Terrell Suggs' "hit" single "Ball So Hard." As the legend grows from his Monday Night Football introduction, Suggs decides to make a second career off his brand, which has already created T-shirts.

Suggs' second hit will feature Snoop Dogg, entitled "Sizzle fo Shizzle."  

 

Alexander is a featured columnist for bleacherreport.com. You can follow Alexander on Twitter @thesportsdude7 or become a fan on his Bleacher Report profile

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