As 2011 is coming to a close, why not honor two of the most significant parts of American business in one slideshow—film and football.
Here I am comparing each NFL team to a movie that came out this past year. This is easy enough considering I see a ton of movies in theaters (I am seeing three this weekend).
Here's wishing you had a great year and have an even better one coming up.
When Mommy has to leave (meaning Warner) then this guy has to be brought in (Kolb) who really doesn't know what the heck he's doing. Let's just hope he doesn't accidentally kill us all.
For some reason, everyone seems to think it's good and worthwhile watching. But overall, it's just sloppy and not worth getting high hopes for.
The Ravens don't have trouble winning in the regular season, which they do year in and year out; they just can't seem to do anything in the postseason.
Maybe one day they will make the Superbowl...
The Bills are like Kevin. They seemed like they were going to be something very unique and surprisingly adequate, but as time progressed, they just became awful and extremely haunting.
I feel like comparing Sarah Jessica Parker to anyone makes me seem quite evil, but I only am doing this because of the title. I don't think anyone knows how Cam Newton can be so good in his rookie year, and to exceed number one pick expectations like Newton is doing is downright befuddling.
It looks like a summer with no football activity didn't keep the Bengals from somehow becoming one of the league's best. For them it truly was a "not bummer summer."
Please note: I am in no way implying that this film is good. It really is an awful movie. Even your kids would cry halfway through because of how awful it is.
This organization is a real shame. Poor decisions have led to a lot of guilt. Plus, like the movie, they really don't have any big names.
The Cowboys took little-known players (such as DeMarco Murray, Sean Lee and Laurent Robinson) and turned them into incredible performers, while carving their team into a playoff contender.
When all hope seemed to be lost, one young man came storming in to save everyone and bring hope to the world. Or some such nonsense.
Okay, we all knew that they would be good, but whoever would've guessed that they would be this astounding? Easily the best of the year, worth watching over and over again.
The Smurfs made a lot of money, but came out when no good movies were playing.
The Texans won their division, but there was no real competition to stop them from doing so.
When it all boils down to it, no matter what the numbers say, neither the Smurfs nor the Texans are really that good.
Sort of a lesser-man's Avatar.
Clear everyone out—the coaching staff, the players, everything. One small incident and they basically gave up on everything.
However, like in the movie, they may have a young black kid coming in to help soon! (Robert Griffin.)
Don't get offended, I was only stating facts.
The worst front office in the league. Period.
We thought it would be good, but it just turned out to be very confusing and a bit of a time waster. No really good individual performances either.
'Cause of the, uh...dolphin...
There is so much talent, yet it is just purely...awful.
The Ides of March was definitely one of the best movies I've seen this year. If I had to describe it in four words, I'd chose the following: Kick-butt...incredible...jackhammer...outstanding..
All of those words I would also use to describe the New England Patriots.
However, much like George Clooney in the film, we didn't really see as much of Chad Ochocinco as we would've liked, but oh well.
It's hard to be a consistent team when you have someone leading the team who is a downright nincompoop.
I'm looking at you, Coughlin.
At least, that's what Rex Ryan thought...
A lot of drama throughout, yet still fairly remarkable.
Not to mention it contained some surprisingly implausible performances.
I remember going to the movies week after week and seeing "Hanna" everywhere. Hanna on a poster. Hanna on my cup. Hanna on my popcorn bucket. That's exactly like the Eagles; they tried to make everyone think that they would be great, but it just turns out that they suck.
Definitely one of the best of the year.
(I'm just trying to talk positively about the Steelers because I don't want James Harrison coming and pounding my head into the keyboard or something; but in all honesty, I'm really not afraid of that dumb son of...
I just really don't understand how someone can be a fan of such a disappointing franchise.
Not a lot of talk, just a near perfect showing.
No matter how good this franchise does, I don't think I will ever be able to take it seriously.
For how long the Rams can perform in a single game.
The biggest disappointment/flop of the year. Yikes.
Ever since Chris Johnson signed that ridiculous contract extension, he has been playing like an alcoholic with a hangover.
I'd feel like an idiot of a human being if I thought it was actually good.