20 Most Incompetent English Premier League Footballers of 2011
In the English Premier League, most of the footballers earn more money running around a pitch trying to boot a ball into a net than a doctor who is tasked with saving lives.
If you're getting paid £10,000-£175,000 a week, you better be living up to that wage, and showing you're competent.
This article will tell you who the 20 most incompetent Premier League footballers are for 2011.
Arsenal: Andrei Arshavin
Even with Cesc Fàbregas and Samir Nasri departing the Emirates, Andrei Arshavin has failed to seal a permanent position at Arsenal.
With the exception of a good performance against the hapless Bolton Wanderers, Arshavin is a certainty for a January exit.
Especially if Anzhi Makhachkala submit a ridiculously inflated transfer fee.
Wigan Athletic: Conor Sammon
Having watched Conor Sammon play, I do not know what role he fulfills for a club that is battling relegation.
He's lost out on 19 of 27 aerial contests so he's not an aerial threat.
He's got no pace, doesn't press defenders enough, can't dribble and can't split a defence open with a pass
At least with Hugo Rodallega, you know he's class, whereas Sammon has no class.
To compound Sammon's misery, he was harshly sent off against Manchester United.
Blackburn Rovers: Paul Robinson
Reliable would not be a word to describe Paul Robinson.
Not from a goalkeeping perspective nor a passing perspective.
Generally 40 to 50 percent of passes completed is acceptable by a goalkeeper.
Robinson's successful pass percentage is 27.4.
To give you an idea of how bad that is, the second worst is Paddy Kenny, with 41.7.
Liverpool: Stewart Downing
Stewart nothing Downing.
Nineteen games without a goal or an assist for Liverpool.
Ironically his last Premier League goal was against Liverpool when he was playing for Aston Villa.
Arsenal: Marouane Chamakh
During Ramadan and the following few games after it, at least Marouane Chamakh had the excuse that he was mentally and physically drained.
Well what's his excuse now?
When you play off the bench, you have to be hungry, you have to want to score and if you can't, then impact the game from a defensive perspective.
Chamakh plays as if he's been fasting every day because it's so lethargic and passionless.
Aston Villa: Alan Hutton
Alan Hutton is a mediocre defender with some impulsive and Pepe-like moments.
Shane Long, the victim of a terrible Hutton "tackle," can attest.
I'm still scratching my head as to how Hutton managed to get himself sent off against Arsenal with the game essentially over.
Stoke City: Jonathan Woodgate
Martin Škrtel is a better right-back than Jonathan Woodgate.
Woodgate is embarrassing at right-back and he's been terrible at centre-back.
At least he's identified his ineptitude:
"My form hasn't been up to scratch. I need to up my game."
Chelsea: José Bosingwa
José Bosingwa is potentially more defensively aware at centre-back than at right-back.
I was surprised Emmanuel Adebayor didn't take more advantage of Bosingwa at centre-back.
At right-back, the Portuguese ranks up there as the most absent-minded defender in recent memory.
Everton: Diniyar Bilyaletdinov
How can any club submit a transfer fee for Diniyar Bilyaletdinov after his lacklusture performances?
In the last 11 games for Everton, he has either been subbed on or off.
So, he's essentially a benchwarmer.
He's quickly becoming the Russian version of Alex Nyarko.
Bolton Wanderers: Gary Cahill
£7 million for Gary Cahill?
Oh hell no.
He's led Bolton Wanderers to the worst defence of the league and Chelsea want to reward Bolton with £7 million?
Arsenal: Carl Jenkinson
Carl Jenkinson is not good enough.
Simple as that.
This guy chose to represent to the Finnish national team over the English national team because he's not good enough to play for England.
He can't defend and he offers next to nothing in offense.
With a stress fracture in his back sidelining him for the foreseeable future, he will never consolidate a permanent position as a right-back for Arsenal.
Liverpool: Andy Carroll
Luis Suárez's suspension is a blessing in disguise for Andy Carroll because he'll be given an extended run as a starter.
Not only as the starter, but the go-to-man and the "star forward."
He's offered nothing for Liverpool and the best thing he has done recently was to hack Vincent Kompany who had been hacking Suárez.
I've noticed Carroll's tendency to give away possession; he's turned over the ball 106 times in 16 games.
Queens Park Rangers: Adel Taarabt
On the left, on the right, in the centre and it seems Adel Taarabt still can't score.
So odd because he dominated last season.
It's clear he is still emotionally hungover from not sealing a transfer to Paris Saint-Germain.
Now he's certainly not going to go to PSG because of his ineptitude to impact games.
Thirteen Premier League games and counting without a goal.
Everton: Tim Cahill
Tim Cahill played 28 games for Everton this year and failed to score in every single one of those games.
To be fair to the Australian, he has provided two assists.
After eight seasons for the Toffees, it might be the end for Cahill.
Queens Park Rangers: Armand Traoré
Armand Traoré can't mark, he's undisciplined, his tackling is feeble and his positioning is all over the place.
Yet, Arsène Wenger, Luigi Delneri and Neil Warnock have all persisted with him at left-back, when they should move him into midfield.
What Traoré can do is beat a defender and whip in a cross.
Wolverhampton Wanderers: Roger Johnson
It took Roger Johnson six months to play a decent game for Wolverhampton Wanderers.
He put in some good blocks and made some vital tackles in a 1-1 draw against Arsenal.
Aside from that, I have never seen a player, a good defender, malfunction the way he has.
He turned into a pub footballer for six or so months because he was costing Wolves week in, week out with his defensive ineptitude.
Blackburn Rovers: Míchel Salgado
Míchel Salgado is over the hill, too slow, too old and struggling to even keep up with the pace of the Premier League.
Bolton Wanderers: Paul Robinson
Paul Robinson compensates for his lack of pace with a hard-man mentality that is displaced in an era where referees protect attacking players.
Shouldn't surprise you that he's a "vital" member of the worst defence in the league.
Wigan Athletic: Gary Caldwell
Why would you start Gary Caldwell when he's weak in the tackle and not particularly strong in the air?
He's lost out on 18 of 34 aerial contests.
Caldwell is an easy weak link and his propensity to pick up cards forces him into a sedate mode where opposing players take advantage.
Newcastle United: James Perch
If it's one thing James Perch isn't, it's a centre-back.
He's all over the place.
In his five starts at centre-back, Newcastle United have conceded 14 goals.
Remember, Alan Pardew has succeeded (so far) on a frugal defensive attitude and Perch is the antithesis of this attitude.
Why no Fernando Torres?
He's played 19 games this season and he's scored four goals and provided five assists.
So nine goals in 19 games.
That's not good enough for his £50 million transfer fee but he's competent (except that miss against Manchester United and that miss against Blackburn Rovers).
Who do you think has been the most incompetent Premier League player this year?
Comment below with your opinion.
Please read 50 Most Beautiful Goals from 2011.