Jose Mourinho is easily one of the most quotable characters in modern football.
He goes against the grain of mundane, run-of-the-mill interviews, and gives the media and the fans a soundbite every time he enters a press conference.
The enigmatic manager has produced some crackers in his time, and with spells at four of Europe's elite clubs, there are plenty to choose from.
Whether it is all an intentional ploy to drag the attention away from the players is up for debate, but his unique style is definitely entertaining.
Here's a countdown of the top 10.
Just like the now Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas, Jose was under the impression the entire media were against his Blues back in 2006 following an long run of victories:
"Everybody was waiting for Chelsea not to win every game, and one day when we lose, there will be a holiday in the country."
Chelsea did lose eventually. Needless to say, there was no holiday.
Mourinho celebrates lifting the Champions League trophy with Inter
As you would expect, Jose is a confident chap, as this quote from 2009 while in charge of Inter shows:
"If they made a film of my life, I think they should get George Clooney to play me. He's a fantastic actor and my wife thinks he would be ideal."
Rumours are rife around Hollywood that the film is in the pipeline, but Clooney has rebuffed all notions that he will be involved.
Jose during the '07 FA Cup Final
During his time at Chelsea, people questioned whether it was purely down to owner Roman Abramovich's substantial resources that they were so dominant.
As usual, Jose left them in no doubt:
"We are on top at the moment, but not because of the club's financial power. We are in contention for a lot of trophies because of my hard work."
No one in football enjoys an abstract analogy more than Jose, and here's another fine example from February 2007.
After the closing of the January transfer window, Mourinho was ruing an injury crisis at Stamford Bridge:
"It's like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But the blanket is made of cashmere!"
If it was ever in any doubt that Mourinho knows exactly what he's doing every time he gives one of these famous quotes, he provided us with this line shortly after taking the reins of Inter:
"I always wanted to coach a big club in Italy. The job at Inter is a big challenge for me. And I do believe it could be very entertaining for the journalists."
How nice of him to consider the hacks in his decision.
This will be the shortest entry in the countdown, but it still weighs in with more of Mourniho's typical dryness.
In 2009, before embarking on the new season with Inter, he gave the traditional press conference.
However, when questioned as to what type of defender he was in the market for, Jose responded:
Not one to beat around the bush, then.
After his much-heralded arrival at Real Madrid in 2010, his first match in charge ended in a 0-0 draw with Mallorca.
Jose felt it was important to make sure no one was under any false illusions, and that he was not going to be able to work magic in such a short period of time.
"Look, I'm a coach, I'm not Harry Potter. He is magical, but in reality, there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real."
Thank you for that clarification, Jose.
Back in 2006, and feeling the pressure from higher up, Mourinho turned philosophical about his situation.
Thankfully, Jose escaped the clutches of bird flu. And of Roman Abramovich.
In what turned out to be his final pop at Abramovich, Jose used another analogy to explain football's transfer system, giving us a timeless classic in the process:
"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs, no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
What other quote could possibly have been No. 1?
This line has defined his post-Porto career and will live with him for a very long time to come.
Following his appointment as the new Chelsea boss in 2004, Jose said this in his first press conference:
"Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one."
I also contribute to a weekly football podcast, called Jumpers for Goalposts, which can be found here: http://soundcloud.com/champions-chat